Page 71 of Redemption

My name on his lips is soft, quiet. Like he knows I am battling a million emotions. Tears fall from my eyes as I collapse onto the bench at the end of my bed. He knows. I know he figured it all out. But I am still scared to say the words. Because ten years has changed things. We can no longer go back to the people we were. We aren’t young lovers hiding in candlelight between silk sheets. We’re adults. And even worse, I’m the daughter of a mobster, the niece of a don. And he is in one of the most notorious crime syndicates in the world.

“Is she my daughter?” he asks, his voice unsteady.

I take a deep breath and meet his eyes and nod.

His face falls, emotions flooding it. The same emotions I had when I found out I was pregnant. Elation, happiness, fear.

“I’m a father.”

I’m in tears as he takes in the truth. “Yes.” Those words rock my body. I never thought I would say them to him. Never thought he would find out the truth. And then he was dead. And I knew my secret would be hidden forever. But all of that has changed. Everything has changed.

He frowns as he looks at me then walks to the glass doors that lead to the balcony. His eyes focused on the view of the water.

I wait for him to say something, anything. But he is silent. Still.

I step toward him until I am just a foot away. “I wanted to tell you,” I say softly. “I was going to tell you and then I freaked out. I wasn’t ready for a kid. I wasn’t ready to tell you. We were just… I didn’t know what we were, Kil.”

“I’m a father,” he repeats like he didn’t even hear a word I just said.

“I—I found out who you were and knew my family would kill you. I didn’t have a choice.” I plead. I just want him to look at me.

“When?” he growls.

“When what?”

“When did you find out?”

I watch as his hand curls into a fist. His anger palpable in the air. More tears fall down my cheeks. “T-the day before I left.”

“You mean the day you disappeared?”

I touch his back and feel him flinch underneath me. “I had every intention of telling you that night. But like I said, I was scared.” I groan as I pull away from him. “I was twenty-two, Kilian. A college graduate that worked as a bartender with no plans. You were thirty-two, a businessman, successful. You didn’t even live in Dublin. We never defined what we had—”

He spins around and gets in my face. His words quiet but harsh. “You don’t think I deserved to know? So you just up and disappeared on me? You ran away when I would have accepted this burden.”

“Burden? Aria is not a burden.” I step away from him as anger takes over.

“That’s not what—”

“And you think I ran away? Vanished to keep her hidden? I was so fucking scared that night, Kilian. What was I supposed to tell you after I told you I was pregnant? That I lied about my identity? I couldn’t put you in that position.”

“That wasn’t your choice to make.”

“No?” I ask harshly. “That night when I left your house, I was so broken. I didn’t know why I didn’t tell you. I wanted to turn around and run to your arms but I didn’t. Instead, I found out you were lying about who you were. My cousin was at my apartment ready to put out a hit on you.” I shudder as a realization hits me. One I never thought of until now. “I made the only choice I could that night. I wasn’t just saving our daughter’s life. I was saving yours. And even if that meant I would live the rest of my life with a broken heart, that was the choice I had to make. Because I couldn’t lose both of you.”

He watches me as I break down. My body slumping onto the bed, my head falling into my palms. “I wanted to tell you,” I cry. “And I hate myself every day for lying to her, for lying to you about all of it. When I thought you died, something inside of me shattered. I felt horrible for never letting you know about her, meet her. And I hated myself for not letting her ever meet her father. I could have reached out to you. Found a way to get in contact with you without my family knowing. But once again, I was too scared. Scared of your rejection. And now every time I see you, I want nothing more than to tell you, to let myself fall back into those feelings I had for you back then. The ones that hit me like a freight train the second you came back into my life.”

“What feelings?” he asks. The pleading in his voice piercing my soul.

I swallow my fear. “That I loved you back then. That I wanted nothing more than for us to be a family. And even after I left, after I did everything I could to protect her, to keep her identity a secret from my family, I still felt those feelings. They were burned into my soul. You are burned into my soul.”

“And what about now?” he asks as he grabs my hands, pulling them away from my face, and lifting my chin. “How do you feel now?”

“I never stopped loving you. Even when I pretended you didn’t exist. Even when I thought you were dead. Even when you tied me to a goddamn chair. I never stopped loving you.”

He falls to his knees in front of me, wrapping his arms around my legs, his head falling onto my thighs. “I’m a father.”

More tears fall down my cheeks, landing in his blond locks cradled in my lap. I cry as I feel his body shaking, a moistness hitting my bare thighs. “To the best little girl anyone could ask for.”

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