Page 31 of Nightmares and Numerology

Now I wasn’t just more of a freak than I’d been; I’d dragged Angelo into a bond he would never have agreed to. If I was scared of commitment, then Angelo actively feared it. He was a sex demon, for hell’s sake. He wasn’t made for commitment or monogamy or a freaking mate bond!

“What exactly do Koloths do when they establish this bond?” Angelo asked, his voice was low.

I examined his tone for panic or disgust but found none. It was reassuring enough to allow me to risk a glance up at him. Itwas a mistake. Angelo wasn’t just looking at me. The intensity of his gaze was blistering. I had to yank my eyes away. If I fell into his gaze, I’d be Play-Doh in his hands. This house was far too occupied for that. I’d happily christen every surface in my home, but doing so in front of a crowd was a bridge too far.

Betanya chewed her lip in thought. “Do you remember the details, Olga? It’s been years since I attended the Academy. I’m sure you’ve heard the courses more recently than I have.”

Olga nodded. “Ya. Koloths value strength. Zee female leads zee male on a chase to see if he is fast und strong enough to copulate viz her, ya? It’s usually zee prelude to every sexual encounter. Zee mating bond forms vhen both eliminate all ozer potential suitors. One or both parties can initiate, ya, but it must be accepted by both.”

I saw understanding dawn a moment later in Angelo’s expression. I watched him mouth the words to himself as they spun around in my mind.

“Mine.”

“Yours.”

Angelo had asked. I said yes. I’d meant it. But that didn’t mean it didn’t scare the hell out of me.

I stood abruptly, almost upending an end table in my haste. The air felt suddenly stifling. I couldn’t take in enough of it. I had to get outside. Had to escape his stare. I couldn’t think, let alone talk. I dodged Angelo’s grasping hand, backing away with a gasp.

“I need to… I have to… I’m…”

Tears stung my eyes. I had to get out of here. I had to be alone with my thoughts. Well, as alone as I ever was. Indigo would be here, likely unhelpful. It was still better than having three sets of concerned eyes on me.

Angelo called after me. I almost turned back. Then the first tear fell.

I turned and ran.

Chapter Fourteen

Lydia

I couldn’t keep up the pace for long, even with my new and improved demon body.

Makeover or not, I was still out of shape. I managed to make it almost twice my usual jogging distance before I ended up bent double, panting. I caught a woman about my age moving in the opposite direction giving me a sympathetic glance before continuing on her brisk walk. She didn’t seem to notice the faintly luminous cast to my skin or the nubby horns I could feel on the crown of my head. She saw what she wanted to see. A woman who hadn’t kept up with her exercise routine.

I stayed like that for a while, hands on my thighs, staring at the cracks in the pavement under my sneakers. Forcing myself to breathe, I was able to clear some of the dark fog away, allowing me to think again.

“Are you done throwing a fit?”Indigo asked when my breaths eased into gasps instead of the impulse to throw up breakfast all over someone’s yard.

I wished I could turn to her voice and smack her. I did not need the sass right now.

Her sigh breezed through my mind. “Sorry. That was crueler than I meant to be. Are you about done with the panic attack?”

No, I wasn’t. Because I wasn’t just in a relationship; I was mated, whatever the hell that meant. All I knew was that I was tied to Angelo in a way he hadn’t asked for.

“Didn’t you hear what Olga said? He did ask for it! If the feelings hadn’t been mutual, he wouldn’t be bound to you. It isn’t like you forced him.”

No, but I felt I should have at least warned him. If he’d known, he might have avoided being tied to me for life.

“You couldn’t have warned him. You didn’t know.”

“And whose fault is that?” I shot back.

Another sigh. “Mine. You don’t have to constantly throw it in my face, Lydia. I know what I did was unforgivable. I know I can’t make it right. I’m no better than a shade, trapped in the head of a gypsy who has been blessed by the goddess with a lover, a business, and a comfortable life. Lydia, I would trade everything I have left to be in your place. But I can’t change what happened. Only you can choose what happens now. You can panic and say something you don’t mean, or you can go back and figure this out.”

I hated that she had a point. I also hated the edge of despair that cut me to the quick. She’d definitely gotten the short end of the stick in our current arrangement. The only times she’d been able to emerge were fraught with danger. Something about a life-or-death situation could finally allow me to shrink back enough to let her come to the fore. Maybe there was some way to make it more permanent—a potion or something.

Indie made a soft, scornful sound. “Your body isn’t an apartment I live in. You can’t make it a timeshare situation.”

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