“I think it does,” Micah says. I glance at both of them briefly. She’s so still. I’ve been watching her chest move, and I can hear her heartbeat. It’s strong but fast.
I made the mistake of calling Micah. He heard the panic in my voice and rushed over. I had enough time to dress Juliana in another shirt and settle her in the middle of the bed. My pants are rumpled, and my shirt isn’t buttoned, but I don’t care who sees my tattoos. My hand is itching to hold my cane even though I know they won’t hurt either of us. Bonding with her was the best experience of my life. Her trust in me is humbling, and I don’t want to disappoint her. Feeling her blood in my mouth was like being given a gift. She is mine, and as much as I want her to be a snake, the pain she is going through is torture. I don’t know what is going on inside her mind. She is alive, and I can sense the changes happening in her body. My soul is connecting in a way humans have no concept of. Her pain becomes mine. My skin is pulsing, and I don’t have the concentration to hide my tattoos or glowing eyes. My brothers have caught me in my weakest moment, and I can’t stop the words.
“I killed my mother,” I state, and Quinn straightens. “She killed my dad and my two brothers.”
“Fuck.” Micah braces his elbows on his knees.
“Jesus, Heath,” Quinn growls.
“I don’t want your fucking pity,” I hiss, looking at one and then the other.
“Brother, it’s not pity.” Quinn steps closer. “We sympathize with a family member.”
“I don’t feel like family,” I grit out. “My family died. My mother’s blood is on my hands. She knew in the end what had to happen. I’m telling you this so you will understand.”
“Understand what?” Quinn asks.
“Why I had to kill your mom. I couldn’t allow you to go through what I did.” I turn and grip the rail. “I had to stare into her eyes and take her life. She was a wonderful mom until she wasn’t. Sound familiar?”
“Yes,” he whispers.
“That is why I was gutted when you left me,” I confess.
“Heath—”
“No.” I lean forward. “I get why you had to do it. I understood your reasons, but you left me. Just like everyone else. I know what it’s like to have your demons consume you. I lived most of my life in that place. On more nights than I can count, I fell asleep with my mom's face staring at me. She haunted me for years. I questioned myself. I didn’t want that for you, so I did the hard thing.”
“I had no idea.” His face softens.
“I don’t want that.” I point at his face. “I lived through it and have put most of the emotions behind me. When we formed our group, I thought I found the people I was supposed to be with. The work we did was harsh but necessary. We were a team. A family. When you left, a piece of me broke. Micah tried to hold us together, but it didn’t work. He had his own shit going on, and I understood that, too.” Micah stands and walks closer. “I could get used to not working together or living in the same place. What was fucked up was the complete silence. You forgot about me and judged me. You didn’t ask why I held the fights. Micah reached out sometimes,” I say, meeting Quinn’s eyes. “You did not. You forgot me and everything we went through.”
“Shit, Heath,” he says.
“I know you didn’t mean to.” I smile sadly. “I was hurt, and it didn’t matter what the reasons were. To me, it was another family leaving me.”
“I’m so fucking sorry,” Quinn whispers, cupping my shoulder. “I didn’t like the person I was becoming. I had to get out, but I’m sorry you had to be the victim of my choice. I should have kept in contact. That was wrong, and it’s on me. I regret it.” He takes a breath. “I do not blame you for my mother’s death. It was a shock, but I’m grateful to you. I wouldn’t have handled it well if it was by my hand. Thank you for taking control.”
“It’s not all your fault,” I sigh. “I’m not the most open person.” Micah snorts, and I glare at him. “I have been closed off until—” I look at Juliana.
“Until you fell in love,” Quinn says.
“Yes.” I exhale harshly and drop to the end of the bed. “Fuck, she can’t leave me.”
“She won’t. The bond is never wrong.” Micah steps in front of me. “She has to walk this part alone. Can you feel her?” I press my hand to my chest.
“I can. It’s weak, but she’s changing.”
“You know it takes time to transition.” Micah crouches in front of me. “You also know I don’t get on my knees for anyone but my mate,” he grumbles, and my lips twitch. “I’m sorry I left. I should have seen your loneliness.” I roll my eyes. “Don’t deny it. You loved us and missed us.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” I refuse to meet his eyes.
“We are in your life for good,” he continues.
“You are part of the group whether you like it or not,” Quinn adds.
“I’m thrilled,” I say dryly.
“Fuck this,” Micah says, standing. “We won’t leave. You won’t leave. Let’s move on.” He shifts uncomfortably. “We all love each other. I will make sure River isn’t eating all your food.” He escapes, and I stare at the empty doorway before looking at Quinn.