Page 17 of The Sinners Gambit

Little does Killian know, I can do my own research.

Not wanting an awkward dinner with just Axel and me staring at each other across an expansive empty dining room table, we eat dinner in the massive den. We already finished eating the spaghetti and meatballs—my favorite comfort meal—now we’re just sipping on wine, while finishing up an episode ofCriminal Minds. It’s an interesting choice considering my current circumstance, but it was the only one we could both agree on.

“How many times have you seen the show?” I ask Axel as he stares intensely at the screen where Spencer Reid’s doing his boy-genius thing—having an epiphany moment, finding the clue that nails the unsub.

“This would be maybe my fifth time? I stopped counting.”

“Wow.” I laugh. “You beat me. I’ve watched it three times.”

“The new rebooted season I’ve only seen once though.”

“It’s good, but not the same as the original run,” I add before groaning. I still get annoyed every time the commercials come up, wanting to grab my phone to doom-scroll, but obviously I don’t have it. I learned that both of them refuse to pay for premium service without ads even though they can clearly afford it. Which I can’t blame them for.

He turns to look at me with an agreeing smile. “Right! I enjoy it because it’s grittier, if that was even possible.”

“Yes, but so different. I think it’s also them not having all of the OG cast. I miss baby Reid.”

“You softie.” He playfully nudges my shoulder, and I roll my eyes at him. I would never have imagined that I would be lounging around like this in the circumstance I’m in. Something about Axel puts me at ease. I can physically feel my body being at stasis and relaxed.

Could he hurt me? I have no doubt. But right now I don’t think he has any intention to. Their plan to kidnap me to be his boss’ queen, or whatever the fuck, is insane. Full-blown, textbook definition of insane. However, they’ve shown me a lot of care in a less psycho way which is equally confusing.

“Shut up. Everyone loves Dr. Spencer Reid.”

There’s a twinkle in his eyes when he says, “Who doesn’t love ‘Pretty Boy?’ He was everyone's real crush.”

“He was definitely mine. The show did him dirty though.” I give a sympathetic smile toward the TV.

Axel emits a deep sigh. “That they did.”

The episode starts again, and we quiet down for a few minutes, before I decide to take advantage of Killian being out. “Why are you helping him?”

“Killian?”

“Yeah. I didn’t think being kidnapped was on my bingo card this year.” I roll my eyes before taking a sip of wine. “Lucky me being randomly abducted.”

He smiles warmly at me. “You’re anything but random. I’m sure he’s given you that fate bullshit?”

I feel my eyes vibrate as I roll them, but something warm flutters in my chest too. Something about igniting those rare emotions in someone feels exciting. “Yeah, earlier today.”

“Well, while I think he’s insane, I also believe him. Because in many ways fate brought him to me right when I needed him. So, I believe it brought you to him when he needed it.” He pauses the TV and grabs his wine glass to lean back on the couch and face me—giving me his full attention.

I raise my eyebrows for him to continue.

“He may be as bad as the serial killers in these shows in many ways,” he gestures toward the TV, “but like many of them he has a tragic origin that led to this point.”

“Tragedy doesn’t have to equate to violence,” I say, but I can’t make my eyes meet his, because I don’t fully believe that. I’m here calmly dealing with and assessing this situation because I want to kill them, but it needs to be when their guards are down.

“No, and he’s not all violence. He’s also the most loyal person if you get past his shields. While he’s still the boy who never heard ‘no’ and is very quick to anger—a typical rich douchebag, if you will—” He snorts out a laugh, “Killian’s also the man who’ll cut someone down if they’re being an asshole just for the sake of being one. I owe him everything.”

“He saved you?” I feel that warmth from earlier growing for myKiller,and it makes me hate myself.

“When we were in high school, it wasn’t easy for me at home or at school. Being an openly queer person back then was hard.” I see him grip the stem of his wine glass harder. I want to lean forward and offer comfort, but I let him have his moment. “Being an openly queer personandbeing part of an influential family? Forget about it.”

“None of that should ever matter,” I growl out, feeling my nerve endings igniting with fury. Quinnly has always been someone who marches to the beat of her own drum, not wanting any labels. But we all support her through it, and I would kill anyone who tries to treat her differently because of it. Not that she needs that from us. My little menace of a sister is great at taking care of her own problems.

“But it does for some. And it did for me . . . it left me feeling unlovable most of my life.”

“I’m sorry, Axe. I despise you because you’re my captor, but as a person I actually really like you. I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that. No one should ever feel that way.”

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