Page 88 of An Italian Wedding Adventure

It was only when he swiped a hand over his eyes that she realised they were shining with moisture. She’d guessed he was struggling with his feelings, but she’d had no idea how much.

‘She’s grown more beautiful, more confident, she knows herself better and I love that. She’s also been hurt. She’s a little jaded and something terrible happened to her that I wish I could have supported her through. But…’ He swallowed again, ‘if she does still love me, then I’ll do anything to keep her in my life this time – anything. I’ll cancel Manaslu. I’ll stay down and find a way to…’

Sophie’s breath caught. Her mind struggled to catch up with the expanding heat in her chest. She’d been preparing herself for a painful goodbye, but instead, he was standing before her thrumming with the same longing she felt, and for once, acknowledging it.

His words were a step off a precipice for him, a fall into the unknown, but he was saying them anyway. He was handing himself over to her, however she would have him.

Grasping two handfuls of his shirt to hold him up, she asked, ‘Does that mean,’ she began gently, ‘you still love her? After all this time?’

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The words felt like a build-up of pressure behind his skin, but he took a moment to gather himself to say them properly.

Of course I fucking love youwasn’t the declaration she deserved, but hearing her ask him, her voice regaining strength, had drawn everything he usually buried deep to the surface.

‘Sophie, I love you more than I ever imagined I could. Even more than I did back then – and I loved you a lot.’

A cheer rose from the wedding party he’d managed to forget for a moment, making Sophie jump. He tucked the stone back into his pocket and grasped her around the waist. Her arms fell around his neck, her carabiners clinking with his.

‘What about when you’re on a mountain? I couldn’t live with it, if I really distracted you.’

‘I said I’d cancel?—’

To his surprise, she shook her head. ‘You should know I’d never ask that of you. I know part of your soul will always long to be up high. I wouldn’t change that.’

He was almost too bewildered to believe she meant it, that she wouldn’t change him. ‘I think,’ he began, ‘that was my fear talking, when I said I needed a clear head on an expedition. I do let my parents’ worries get to me. But if I knew you’d be there when I came down, if you told me you loved me and you actually wanted me, then maybe that’s a strength I’d carry with me – instead of the stone, that’s rightfully yours.’ He chuckled all of a sudden, trailing off with a sniff. ‘It’s yours twice over, since I think I’ve lost that bet.’

‘We’re not really at the wedding ceremony yet, but I suppose that’s open to interpretation.’

‘Do you… Have I restored your faith in… meaningful declarations?’ He was beginning to feel in his gut that she hadn’t said the words back.

‘Are you really saying that, if I hadn’t blocked your number, you would have come back and proposed to me?’

His hands tightened on her. ‘To be honest? I don’t know if I would have got up the courage. I intended to. Before we went up. I even told Miro. You’d put an idea in my head.’

‘You thought getting married was a terrible idea. I believe, “I’m not that kind of guy,” were your exact words.’

His face heated. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t believe you could really mean it.’

‘Especially because you’d never let me in – not fully. You were still a two-dimensional hero to me.’

‘I’m not a hero any more,’ he commented with a lift of his brow. ‘I don’t know about getting married – I still don’t know anything about weddings. But I wanted to show you how much I want you to stay with me. If that means marriage?—’

‘I get it, Andreas.’ She gave a strange sort of squeak and he peered into her face with concern.

‘Are you laughing or crying?’

‘Both,’ she explained with a hiccough. ‘I can’t help thinking I could have saved us eight years of heartache, if only I hadn’t blocked your number.’

‘You said, if we’d got married, we probably would have split up again. You have no idea how those words haunted me. I was sure you’d given up on us. It was easy to tell myself you were right.’

Her grimace was sweet. ‘I was protecting myself – my feelings. I’m sorry I hurt you. It is true that we were both different, when we first got together. You said you weren’t ready and I probably wasn’t either.’

He smoothed her hair back from her face. ‘You’re right, we’ve both changed. I love who you’ve become, Fini. I love that you see through me and stand up to me and maybe you needed to get there by yourself. But still, if we’d got married back then, we might have had problems, but we’d have made it work. Because I loved you. Iloveyou. And I still think we’ll make it work – somehow.’

Her lip wobbled. ‘I don’t know if I could have believed you if you’d suddenly got down on one knee and claimed you wanted to put on a suit and stand at the altar with me, but you being you – being honest – I want to make it work too. We can sort out the details as we go along and being together doesn’t have to mean marriage. I won’t push you off a cliff you’re not ready for.’ She nearly choked on her words. ‘That was a terrible metaphor, but you know what I mean. That’s the mistakeIwon’t make again.’

‘I appreciate the graphic metaphor. But you won’t push me away again, no matter what wild ideas you come up with. You’re a wedding planner after all. I realise being your life partner might come with certain adventures.’

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