“I honestly don’t think that’s a good idea. News travels fast within the organization. Even though we have four new individuals on duty, that doesn’t mean they’ll fall for your brownie trick.”
“Would I do that? Again?” I wasn’t certain how I felt inside other than numb. Yet around Alejandro, there were always butterflies in my stomach. It was after four in the morning and we were both still awake, too wired to sleep, the man too worried to close his eyes.
And me?
I had no clue what I felt at this point.
He lifted his cognac and grinned, which highlighted his dimples. They almost never appeared. “Yes, my darling wife. You would.”
“What if I promise not to do it again?” I inched closer. I’d never felt so damn lonely in my life.
“Forgive me, but I don’t think I can believe you. Not just yet anyway.” His faraway look returned and I took another step toward him. He’d said almost nothing about what had occurred in the little house. There’d been talk of providing a cleanup crew or discussions with his men about what had happened.
It was as if this was just another night.
“Are they sleeping finally?” he asked.
“Yes. Maria insisted on sleeping with Jessica.”
“Maybe that’s okay. How’s Gabriel?”
I laughed, easing hair from my fallen ponytail. “That kid can sleep through a nuclear disaster. Didn’t wake up at all. I think his auntie and uncle tired him out.”
He smiled again, but it faded quickly. “Good.”
“She’s lovely.”
“Maria? She can be a handful.”
“Not Maria, although she’s definitely your sister. A tough lady. I was talking about Jessica, your daughter.”
He lifted his head so slowly I hadn’t seen it move. “Did Maria tell you?”
“No, you just did.” I moved as slowly as his head had done, sitting down on the chair opposite him. While I had a glass of wine in my hand in some crazy attempt to finally relax, I’d never felt so much on edge. I’d barely touched the cabernet. “But I had a strong suspicion after looking into Jessica’s eyes. They’re almost identical to yours.”
“Fortunately for her, she has most of her mother’s attributes.”
“I don’t think so. She’s absolutely beautiful and your relationship is clear. Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
The man was so strong, so damn powerful, and could lead an entire army into battle, taking up arms alongside them. But at that moment, he appeared slightly vulnerable. I knew it wouldn’t last.
“The truth is that I haven’t seen her in two years. A lot changes with a child in two years. She doesn’t know me as anything but her auntie’s friend.” He laughed and the sound was so melancholy I couldn’t be angry with him. He’d sacrificed so much, almost losing what I could guess he considered most precious of all.
“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss her daddy. She called out for you when she heard a gunshot.”
He was shocked, searching my eyes to see if I was telling the truth. “Just a distant memory.”
“I don’t think so. Children are smart. They have a sense of who they belong to. What happened to her mother? I mean, if you don’t want to tell me, I completely understand.”
“You deserve to know that at least after all I’ve put you through. She died of ALS two and a half years ago. Carrie and Jessica were my entire world. Carrie wasn’t supposed to be able to get pregnant, but she defied the odds. She wanted the baby so badly she was willing to risk her own health. The doctors were understandably skeptical. They even tried to convince us our child could possibly have birth defects. When Jess was born with all ten fingers and toes, we were both so happy. And relieved.”
The expression on his face dragged at everything decent inside of me. I felt for him, my heart aching. It also ached for another reason. I cared about him. Maybe too much. He’d lied to me and I wasn’t certain of who he was or who I was any longer, but I wanted to be with him. Maybe I was crazy for thinking that way, but as hard as I’d tried to shove him from my mind, I’d given up. Not possible. Hell, the man had challenged my father yet again, telling him in no uncertain terms he wasn’t allowed to treat me badly.
“I’m so sorry,” I said quietly, so flooded with emotion.
“We were happy for a little while. Things were good and Carrie hadn’t experienced any setbacks. But everything came crumbling down and I watched her go from vibrant and animated to barely hanging on. There is nothing more horrible than watching someone you care about slowly slipping away.”
“Why leave your daughter?”