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Jessica nodded while looking up at her aunt. “Okay. Maybe peanut butter!”

“Maybe. If you wash those hands thoroughly.” Maria was trying to be lighthearted. But her eyes. Jesus, her eyes were full of an emotion I hadn’t seen in a long time.

Hatred.

She couldn’t hate me any more than I hated myself.

Jessica was giggling as she ran off. There’d been zero recognition in her soft green eyes. None.

We remained quiet after she left.

“She’s beautiful,” I said, able to hear the angst in my voice.

“I think so. She’s doing great now. It took a long time. She couldn’t sleep in her own bed, Jeff. She would barely eat and I couldn’t get her interested in her favorite movies. That girl suffered even though she didn’t understand what death meant. She simply knew her entire world had been stripped out from under her. First, her mother. Then you. I wasn’t going to make her promises about you that I didn’t know if I could keep. I still don’t.”

“I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. Please, just do as I asked. For a little while. I promise it won’t be for long.”

“Please, don’t make promises you can’t keep. I’m finished with worrying about you. Now, I need to make some lunch. I won’t ask you to stay. There’s no reason for her to become attached to you.” Maria walked to the door, throwing it open. Once again, she wasn’t able to look me in the eyes.

This was harder than the first time I’d been forced to walk away. “I care about you, sis. I really do.” I took a step onto the porch, immediately scanning the area. She noticed and snorted.

“Do you, Jeff? Why should you? You have a new family now, including a son. I saw your picture splashed over the internet. She’s a lovely woman. I’d say congratulations except she’s the daughter of a mafia leader. Right? Seems like you found your new life better than the one you had.”

“That’s not true, Maria. You know how this works. I was required to marry that woman.”

“Right. Whatever.”

Jessica’s little feet could be heard and when she popped out onto the porch, Maria was almost beside herself.

“What did I tell you, young lady?”

“I just wanted to say goodbye. Isn’t that polite?”

Her vocabulary was so grown up. I’d missed so fucking much.

“Okay. Yes. You’re right. Say goodbye to the nice man.” Maria was doing her best to keep it together, but I could tell she was losing the battle.

When Jessica threw her arms around my legs, tears fell past my sister’s eyelashes.

“Bye, mister. Nice to meet you.” The squeeze was short lived and the little girl was gone.

But the slight hug meant the world to me. So much so I knew what I was doing couldn’t be tolerated for much longer.

Maria wiped tears away. “I just can’t do this, Jeff. I’m sorry. I love you and always will, but Jessica doesn’t deserve to live like this. Neither do I. You’ll get your wish about us leaving, just not so soon. I guess you deserve to know this. Since I didn’t know if you were dead or alive, I’ve already planned to keep full custody of Jessica.”

“What? She’s my daughter.”

“Maybe, but you’ve been involved in only half her life. Half. That’s not fair to that little girl. Soon I’m moving out of state. I’m currently searching for another nursing position. No, I don’t know where.”

“You can’t do that, Maria. I won’t let you.”

“Oh, no? Then what do you plan on doing, Jeff? Are you leaving your current position?”

“I… can’t. Not yet. But soon.”

“Promises. That’s what Dad used to do. He’d make promises he never intended on keeping. I’m done with that. I once admired what you did to try and keep our world a safer place, but you’ve made a choice. You like the life. The money. The cars. The women. Your daughter doesn’t know her father and I’m not ever going to risk you coming into her life only to leave again. Have a good life,Alejandro. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.”

I stuck my foot in the door. “Wait. I understand you’re doing what you think is best, but there are circumstances you can’t understand. I can’t talk about them right now, but I will.” I yanked a card from my jacket. It was plain with no name, only my handwriting with a phone number. “Here. Take this.”

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