Page 79 of Saving Blood

Blood slowly shakes his head. “First of all, I’m not Smoke, and whatever happened for them has nothing to do with us.”

“But don’t you see?” I grip his arm tighter. “Maybe we?—”

He pulls his arm out of my grasp like I’ve lit him on fire. “There is no ‘we.’ There is no ‘us.’ Whatever you thought we had was a mistake.” He spins away from me, and his long strides take him to his Harley parked by the curb of the cemetery path.

The rain comes down harder as Blood swings his leg over the seat, throttles the engine and pulls away without a second look. When the rain soaks through my jacket, I peer over my shoulder at Javi’s grieving family hugging and comforting each other. Such a senseless tragedy. There is nothing I can do to ease their pain or mine, so I walk away from the gravesite over the sparse grass and pebbled sand.

BLOOD

Fuck! I stomp across the wet grass and mud patches, pissed-off and—fuckin’ miserable. Usually this feeling is accompanied by anger, but not today. Watching Javi’s family torn apart and knowing I played a part in it has overwhelmed me until I can’t breathe.

Then Maxine asking me all kinds of questions I couldn’t answer. Getting away from her and getting away fast was the only solution. Too much has passed between us, and shutting her out is the only way. The pain on her face when Hector spit out his bullshit ripped me apart, and I know the only way for her to move forward is away from this place.

She needs to start new, and as much as it kills me, I have to let her go. I have to do for her what I failed to do for Javi—get her as far away from my life as possible. Make her think I’m the bad guy, the bastard who turned her away because of her past. Making her hate me is the only way to assure her safety and her future.

I ride all the way to the coast, park on one of the cliffs overlooking Baja and watch the ocean crash against the sand. The rain lets up, so I head back to The Tropics, then straight up to my room. Tomorrow, I’d wake up knowing Maxine is in the States and on her way to beginning her new life—without me.

32

BLOOD

I push through the door of my apartment and?—

“Where the fuck you been?” Smoke and Diesel jump off the couch. “You gotta get over to Otay Mesa.”

“What?”

“Otay Mesa.” Smoke rolls his eyes like I’m supposed to know what he’s talking about. “I had Marisol stall Maxie as long as possible.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about getting your ass over to the border crossing before Maxine is gone for good.” Smoke hustles me to the door. “Although Manny could probably find her with his mad cyber skills, I need him on club shit, not tracking down a woman you let slip through your fingers.”

“I didn’t let her slip through my fingers. I let her go on purpose. It’s better this way.”

“For who?” Diesel steps to me. “You gonna tell me you’re happy she’s gone?”

“Like I said, it’s better this way.”

Diesel twists his lips. “Well, you look like shit, and when Maxie stopped by the gym to collect her stuff, her eyes were all red and puffy.”

I huff out a breath. “She was crying?”

“Yeah, she was crying, you dumb shit. She tried to act all cool like she was fine, but I could tell.”

“All of a sudden the guy bustin’ heads in the cage is Mr. Sensitivity?”

“I spent the better part of the last two months training her, so, yeah, I know her pretty fuckin’ well.”

Smoke pushes me out into the hallway. “We’re wasting time with this bullshit.”

“Wait.” I throw up my palms. “What if I don’t wanna? What if I wanna let her go?”

“Do you?” Smoke nails me with a look he saves for our enemies.

“No.”

“All right, then.” Diesel flanks me on the other side. “Move your sorry ass.”

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