Page 13 of Kissing My Brother's Best Friend

This is flying off the handle. Is there even anything to end between Liam and me? We hooked up a couple of times. I didn't think it was that serious, but I sort of hoped it could be, in time. Did Liam think this time together was important beyond just sex? Even with Brody and Liam in the doorway arguing, I feel a warmth blooming in my chest at the thought of it.

The argument has gone down the hallway and into the kitchen, where Brody is cracking a beer open in the middle of the afternoon, and Liam is pulling his shirt over his head. I let them have at it, feeling better now that my brother's gaze isn't on me. It gives me a moment to think about what's really going on between Liam and me.

He likes me, that much is clear. And I like him.

But can we really do this? The fact that we live so far away from each other or my brother would probably murder us both if we tried to keep seeing each other. It’s all getting in the way already.

Is it worth it?

Liam and Brody are still arguing. Brody says that Liam has been his best friend for years and how much of a betrayal this is, while Liam argues that he's being unreasonable and that he needs to see me as an adult who can make adult decisions. I tune out the argument and instead try to figure out exactly how I feel about all of this.

I'm not sure I'm ready to give up on Liam and me yet. What happened between us felt real. It felt like we had something special, even if it was just starting. I don't want to lose that.

Liam and Brody have followed their argument into the living room, but they're not shouting anymore. The tone of their voices is subdued, and I'm glad I've tuned it out for the most part. Unfortunately, I can hear them now.

"Brody," I hear Liam say. "I'm sorry, okay? I really care about Anna. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did."

Brody doesn't reply.

"I know it's weird," Liam continues. "And I know you're upset. But I promise you, I won't do anything to hurt her. She means the world to me."

I freeze when I hear that. I don't know if Liam's saying it just to get Brody to calm down, but it makes my heart swell. He cares about me. He doesn't want to let me go. I press my hands to my face and exhale slowly.

I need some space away from all this masculine nonsense.

Full of anxious energy, I grab my bag and make a break for it. Liam and Brody are too busy arguing to notice, and I get out of the apartment without having to deal with either of them. I can hear the arguing start again when the door closes behind me, but I leave them to it. I'm done.

I get into my car and drive to the campus cafe, hoping Liam won't look for me there.

I order a coffee and take a table in the corner, pulling out my laptop. I might as well work on my English assignment while I'm here.

My mind keeps wandering, though. I can't stop thinking about Liam and the way he made me feel. I can't forget the way it felt to have his arms around me, to feel his lips on mine. I sigh and close my eyes. I know I'm being stupid, but I can't help it. I'm falling for him, like really falling for him. This isn't the years-long crush I've had on him. This is so much more than that.

I want to be with him.

I start typing, words pouring out of me onto the page. It's like a dam has been broken, and now everything is flooding out. I write about the feelings of falling in love, about the fear of rejection, about the pain of losing someone you love. I pour my heart out into the story, letting all of my emotions flow through my fingertips.

It feels good to get it all out. I've been holding in these feelings for so long, and now they're finally free. It feels liberating.

I finish the story and read it over, a smile on my face. It's good. It's really good. It's not something I would have written before meeting Liam, but it's honest and raw and real, and I'm proud of it.

I send it to my professor, closing my laptop and leaning back in my chair with a sigh. I feel lighter now, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I still have no idea what to do about Liam, but at least now I know how I feel about him. And that's a start.

* * *

When I get backto the apartment, Brody is nowhere to be found, and neither is Liam. I consider texting both of them but decide that it will be better to let them reach out first. Brody is probably still pissed with me, and Liam is surely still trying to figure out where to go from here with his lifelong best friend and his little sister, who has complicated everything a million times over.

I sit in my room for a while, staring at my phone and waiting for Liam to text me. I don't want to push anything, but I want to talk to him so badly. I need to know what he's thinking.

After an hour with no response, I give up and call him.

It goes straight to voicemail.

I sigh and throw my phone on the bed, flopping down next to it. I'm being ridiculous. I know I am. But I can't help it. I need to talk to Liam, to see if what he said to Brody was real, or if he was just trying to placate him.

I close my eyes and try to imagine what it would be like to be with Liam, really with him. I can picture us going on dates, holding hands, kissing in public. I can picture us laughing and joking together, spending long nights talking about everything and nothing.

But then there's reality. We're hours away from each other. We have totally different lives. How would we ever make it work?

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