Page 72 of Hate That Blooms

“Good girl,Reina,” the words of praise have her trembling over me.

“Quín, please. I need you inside me. Fuck me, please…please…please.” The last please comes out as a whimper as she collapses against the headboard, her thighs clamping around my head.

“Fuck, you begging for my cock makes me so hard,Reina. You came so pretty for me,Hermosa. Let’s let you rest for now.” I shift so that she can lie next to me, wrapping her arms around my middle.

It feels natural now, this. This space. This warmth. The idea of being together, not just in this bed, but in this life. I close my eyes, a soft sigh escaping me. This is it. This is where I’m supposed to be.

Chapter45

Gabriela

Isit in the waiting room, staring at the pastel-colored magazine covers that line the side table. The room smells faintly of antiseptic and lotion. It’s familiar, a place I’ve come to more times than I care to count. Today is just another check-in, another routine visit. Except it’s not. Not today.

I’ve been thinking about it for weeks—what I’d say, what I’d do if the topic came up. The topic being birth control. I know it’s not the most exciting thing to think about, but it’s important. And now that Joaquín and I are together, it feels like something I should start taking a little more seriously. We’ve been together long enough that it’s not just aboutusanymore. It’s about the future. The future with me, him, Mireya. Maybe kids eventually.

But not yet. Not yet, not until after graduation. Not until I’m sure.

I glance at the clock, watching the seconds tick by as I wait. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I’ve been on birth control for years, but for the first time, it feels different. It feels like it matters more. This time, it’s not just about avoiding a mistake; it’s about planning for a life.

I hear my name called, and I stand up quickly, smoothing my shirt as I walk into the back. Dr. Vargas is waiting for me—her warm smile immediately puts me at ease. I’ve been seeing her for years. She was my mom’s doctor, and she always makes me feel comfortable.

“Hi, Gabriela. How are you today?” Dr. Vargas asks, motioning for me to sit on the exam table. I pull my legs up onto the paper-covered surface and sit with my back straight, trying not to fidget.

“I’m good, just... you know, another day, another appointment,” I reply with a weak smile. I feel a little awkward, unsure of how to start this conversation. It’s not like I’ve never talked to her about birth control before, but today feels different.

“Alright, anything you want to discuss today? Any concerns?” Dr. Vargas asks, settling onto her stool across from me, her pen poised above her notepad.

“Well,” I begin, taking a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about birth control options. I’ve been on the shot for a while now, but I don’t really like it, and I’m wondering if there’s something else I should try. Maybe something I could keep consistent without needing to go to the clinic every three months.”

She nods, tapping her pen thoughtfully against her pad. “I understand. The shot isn’t for everyone. There are several other options available, depending on what you’re looking for. What exactly do you dislike about it?”

I hesitate, my thoughts shifting between the past and present. “It’s just the whole... process. The timing, the appointment, and the way it affects my mood sometimes. It’s not bad, but it doesn’t feel like the right fit for me anymore. And now that I’m in a relationship, I don’t want to be thinking about it all the time.”

Dr. Vargas writes something down on her pad before meeting my eyes again. “Are you considering long-term birth control or something more short-term? We could talk about IUDs, implants, or the pill. It really depends on your lifestyle and what you’re comfortable with.”

The pill has never worked well for me—too many hormones, too many side effects. IUDs make me nervous, and the thought of something permanent, even if it’s not permanentpermanent, doesn’t sit well with me. Implants are more appealing, but I haven’t done enough research yet.

“I think I’d prefer something I don’t have to think about constantly,” I say, my voice soft, as if I’m asking for permission to speak honestly. “I’m just trying to plan ahead, you know? Joaquín and I have talked about the future, and... well, I don’t want to have a baby until after college. I just want to make sure I’m protected, especially now that things feel a little more serious between us.”

Dr. Vargas’s expression softens as she listens, her posture relaxed. “I see. You’re in a committed relationship now, and it sounds like you’re thinking ahead about family planning. It’s important to feel in control of your options, especially when the idea of starting a family is on the table.”

The words “starting a family” hang in the air, and I suddenly feel the weight of them. It’s strange to think about. Joaquín and I haven’t been together for long, but there’s an ease between us, something that feels like a natural fit. He’s a steady presence in my life, and he’s been so good with Mireya—more than good. He’s been a part of our little world, and the idea of adding more to it doesn’t feel scary—it feels like a possibility, a future I can’t fully grasp yet. But not right now. Not before I finish school. Not before I feel secure enough to take that next step.

“I don’t want to rush into anything,” I add quickly. “I just want to be careful, you know?”

“I understand. It sounds like you’re being responsible and thoughtful about it,” Dr. Vargas reassures me, her tone warm. “It’s good that you’re communicating with Joaquín about your birth control and your plans for the future. That’s the most important thing. Let me walk you through your options.”

She goes on to explain the different types of birth control that could work for me, outlining the pros and cons of each. The implant, the IUD, the pill. I listen intently, nodding as she speaks, my mind racing with the possibilities. I want something that fits into my life easily, that I don’t have to remember or worry about. I also want something that feels like a safety net, so I’m not caught off guard by something I’m not ready for.

“And I know you’re in a relationship now,” Dr. Vargas continues, her voice measured and patient, “but I just want to remind you that birth control is about more than just preventing pregnancy. It’s also about your health—your menstrual cycle, your hormones, and how your body reacts. It’s important to consider all of those factors before making a decision.”

I nod again, but the thought of making a decision is daunting. There’s so much to think about. I’m not just protecting myself—I’m protecting us. My relationship with Joaquín, my sister, and the life I’ve been building. A baby is a huge responsibility, one I’m not ready for yet, and I want to be sure I’m doing everything I can to keep things that way.

As if on cue, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out, glancing at the screen. It’s a text from Joaquín.

Joaquín

Hey, Reina. Just wanted to check in. You still at your appointment? Miss you. Mireya and I are doing great.

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