Page 22 of The Probability of Us

“The exam process is annoying,” I say, and he laughs. There are two levels of certification for actuaries that are achieved through a series of exams. The first level requires seven exams and some online courses and is generally required as you move up in a company. The second level is an additional three exams and three courses and is generally optional. “But it’s been good so far—about what I expected. It just feels like a job right now though. I hope that one day I can find something I’m super passionate about to focus on. What about you?”

“My story is less interesting than yours.” He smiles at me as he holds open the door to the next boutique store we find. “I was a finance major because my dad always wanted me to follow in his footsteps and I always looked up to him. But when my parents got divorced my freshman year, I realized he wasn’t the hero I’d made him out to be in my head. I still got the finance degree but learned about actuarial science from a friend and started studying for the exams. My dad wasn’t happy when I turned down an internship at his company for an actuarial internship, but I think it was meant to be.”

My heart drops into my stomach. “I’m so sorry. Is he happy for you now?”

Warren takes a deep, shaking breath, and I get the feeling he doesn’t often talk about this. He glances over at me with sad eyes but turns away again to continue. “I don’t think he ever really got over it. We talk here and there but I don’t see him often—he still lives in New York. My mom moved back to Boston, where I grew up, and I go visit her as often as I can. She’s amazing, you’d love her.”

I look down, color flooding my cheeks at the off-handed comment. Has he been thinking about me meeting his mom? But I frown as I consider the rest of his story. I can’t imagine what it would feel like to have a parent who isn’t supportive. I’ve been blessed with parents who are there for me no matter what I choose to do.

Before I can say anything, he clears his throat and turns to look at me with a smile. “Hungry?”

I can see in his eyes that he doesn’t want to talk more about this, so I smile back and nod, hoping I’m adequately conveying how grateful I am that he shared that piece of his life with me.

After stopping for a quick lunch at a cute, little bistro downtown, we end up at a place called Buena Park. I grew up near here, yet I’ve never been here before. As we walk the winding paths through green grass with red maple trees spread across the park, I can only imagine how beautiful it must be in autumn, the green leaves replaced with bright oranges and reds as far as the eye can see. When I look closely, I think I see lights in the trees—they must be beautiful at night too.

Families flock around the man-made lake at the bottom of the hill—feeding ducks, having picnics, and strolling around as we are. But as we steadily climb in elevation, there’s less and less people. It turns into more of a hike than a stroll and I’m glad I opted for shorts and a tank-top instead of the sundress I almost put on.

“This is one of my favorite places in town,” he says as we reach the top of a hill with a viewpoint through the trees that overlooks the city.

From afar, the Triniti building—with its reverse tiering that my fear of heights hates—stands out with its unique design. I can appreciate it here on solid ground.

My fear of heights isn’t triggered when I’m standing on earth. It’s the manmade objects I don’t trust—like buildings, bridges, and airplanes. I shiver at the thought of them, even though my hair is sticking to my neck because of the sweltering heat.

“I can see why,” I say, trying to hide how winded I am from that hill.

When I look over, he’s looking at me with a huge smile. “It’s even more beautiful at night, with all of the lights. It’s like a sea of stars.”

“I’ll have to come back and check it out sometime.” I already wanted to come back before we got up here, but now it’s a must.

“How about Friday at eight?”

“What?” I breathe, my body going still. The hot air suddenly feels cold compared to the bright, warm feeling spreading through me.

Color floods his cheeks as he locks his hands behind his back and glances to the left. “There’s an incredible Italian restaurant just down this path, on top of the hill. I’d like to take you out on an official date.” He swallows and looks back to me. The mix of hope and fear in his eyes is so charming my chest constricts. “Don’t worry, there’s a parking lot over there so we won’t have to do this hike again,” he adds, and I smile. I’d do this hike anytime if there was a date with him at the end of it. “So . . . what do you think?”

“I think . . .” My smile grows. “That it’s about damn time.” I throw my arms around his neck. After a moment, he wraps his arms around my waist like it’s the most normal thing in the world and lifts me off the ground. “I’d love to go on a date with you, in case you didn’t catch that,” I whisper into his neck.

He chuckles and spins me around. I can feel his joy, and his relief, in that move. “Thanks for the clarification.”

After he puts me down, I ask, “So, if our first date is on Friday, then what does that make today?”

“Well, tonight is the completion of a deal we made months ago . . .” He looks at me, curious if I’ll know what he’s talking about.

My eyes widen. “I’m getting you drunk and you’re singing for me?”

He laughs as he nods. “Ali, Trent, and Sterling are meeting us for dinner and then we’re all going to karaoke, yes.”

“And until then?”

He shrugs. “That’s whatever we want it to be.”

I reach out and grab his hand, his fingers immediately lacing with mine. “Like this?”

He squeezes my hand, and a sweet smile is on his face. “This is perfect.”

* * *

“Am I seeing things or did you and Warren walk in here hand in hand?” Ali has me cornered in the girl’s bathroom at the burger place we decided on for dinner. We haven’t even gotten our food yet, but I didn’t fight when she made some excuse to drag me off here. I saw it in her eyes the moment we walked in—if we didn’t talk about this now, she’d have brought it up at the table in front of everyone and made it ten times more embarrassing. “Spill.”

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