Page 31 of Tied

“No, not at all… but I did speak to the manager, and she thinks it’s best that you not come back.” She squeezes my hand tighter between both of hers and leans closer to me like she’s going to tell me a secret. “It’s probably for the best. I’m not sure that was the ideal job for you. I think something quieter would be better.” She looks at me hopefully. “If you come to New York with Zac and me, I’ll help you find a job that will be good for you. Like maybe in a small, cozy bookstore. You love books, right?”

I let that sink in, and I actually do like the sound of that. “Yes… I would like that,” I say slowly. “I liked the ice cream shop, but I’m just not used to so many people and everyone talking at once.”

“That’s understandable, Holly. You’re going to need time, that’s all. Customer service is one of the hardest jobs out there.” I can see why Zac likes her, with her soft voice and caring eyes. “I give you credit for working in a place like that to begin with. If I did, I’d gain fifty pounds in the first week from eating everything in sight.”

“I really loved the bubble tea,” I tell her, remembering Tyler’s first words to me, and how it felt like getting a surprise gift to hear him talk. Earlier today, before the disaster, I had the idea ofbringing him a tea to use as an excuse to see Poppy again.And him. “Is my mother here?” I sit up to look around. I realize I’m not in a room at all, but a corner of a much larger room sectioned off with dividers and curtains. I can hear other patients just on the other side of the curtains.

“No, but she’s on her way,” Anna says after a slight hesitation. “They called her first, but she was in a meeting, so she called Zac. He’s in the city today, so he called me.”

I’m slightly saddened by the fact that it took a chain of phone calls to get to someone who could come see if my brain was leaking out of my head.

“I’m so sorry, Anna. You can go back to work. I’ll be fine here,” I tell her. I don’t want her to think I’m going to be too much trouble, or else she may not let me move with them.

“You’re no bother at all. You’re my family now.” She glances at the clock on the wall. “The nurse was in here right before you woke up. She said a doctor would be in soon and they’ll probably want to do a CT scan.” She must notice the look of fear on my face because she quickly reassures me. “That’s just a simple X-ray. It won’t hurt at all, and they mostly just do them as a precaution. You’re totally fine, and I’m sure you’ll be out of here in a few hours.”

“Really?” I ask, dubious and a little wary. The last time I was brought here, I didn’t get out for weeks, and then I was sent to Merryfield.

“Really,” she emphasizes. “I promise.”

A nurse comes to take my vitals; then a doctor arrives and examines me for all of two minutes before sending me for the X-ray. When the nurse brings me back to my area in the ER, Anna is gone but my mother is there in her place, and she immediately starts to question the nurse. I sit on the bed and wait, feeling like I am the cause of a lot of stress for everyone.

“What happened?” my mother finally asks me when the nurse leaves. I give her a shortened version of my day, leaving out how the man yelled at me and how I blacked out. Instead, I tell her I felt dizzy and fainted.

She smooths down my hair. “You poor thing. I told you I thought it wasn’t a good idea for you to get a job yet. It’s too much. You need to rest and let your mind and body heal from all the abuse. If you need money, Daddy and I can give you whatever you need.”

Sighing, I wish we could go just one day without her bringing up what happened to me in some way. As much as she says we all need to forget it, she is always the one bringing it back up. “Mom, I need to dosomething.”

“Well… maybe just start with a hobby,” she suggests.

“Like what?” I ask.

“I don’t know, Holly. Maybe photography? You love those pictures you bought.” She pulls back the privacy curtain and stares around. “Where the hell is that doctor? I need to get back to work. I have meetings all day long today, and I have a ton of baking to do for Christmas. It’s just two days away.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” She looks at me apologetically. “It’s just a very busy time of year, that’s all. Do you know how to bake?”

I stare at the woman who should know everything about me and knows absolutely nothing. “Yes,” I answer softly. “They let us bake at Merryfield. We’re allowed near ovens.”

“Good,” she says, clearly not catching my newfound dry sarcasm. “You can start baking the cookies when I take you home. I think it’s best I take you right to the house from here and not back to your apartment until after the holiday. I want to keep an eye on you.” She pulls her phone out of her purse and starts toread her emails. “Maybe you could take up cake decorating or cupcakes. Lots of young women do that.” She doesn’t look up from her phone as she makes these suggestions. “Then after the holidays, we’ll think about online college classes. Your father and I are discussing what’s best for you so we can help you have a good future. That’s all we want for you, so you can put the past behind you and try to live some kind of a normal life someday.”

Some kind of a normal life? Someday?She says it like it’s almost an impossible feat. Like there’s a huge mountain of insurmountable obstacles in front of me. Like I’m so severely backward and damaged that I’m doomed to a life of… what? Living in a supervised facility? Living with my parents? Not being able to do something worthwhile and important? Not able to get married and have a family someday? Her insinuation hits me harder than anything that anyone else has said to me since I’ve been freed. I lost my childhood and the opportunity to form friendships and relationships. I missed out on a lot of my life. I was mentally and physically abused. But I’m not stupid. I’m not afraid to live and learn. Iwantto. Determination sprouts and grows in me as her words resonate through me. I’ll prove her wrong.

I’ll prove everyone wrong.

Soon, the doctor comes in to discharge me and advises me to rest for a few days before resuming daily activity. I almost laugh at that. If I spend any more time resting and sitting still, I’m going to lose my mind. I can’t do it anymore.

CHAPTER 12

Tyler

Nineteen years old

This party is boring as hell, but I didn’t come here to socialize. I came here for my three favorite things: oxy, weed, and speed. Oxy to kill the pain, weed to chill me out, and speed to wake my ass up.

I wouldn’t mind a side of coke and a blowjob to top it off, but neither one of those seems to be an option for me tonight, judging from this crowd.

My old high school friend Jimmy invites me to all his college parties, even though I haven’t had any sort of academic goals or socialized with friends since I was pushed into a bonfire two years ago and came out looking like a side of beef jerky.

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