When Daddy opens the car door, I climb into the back seat and settle in the middle. I don’t ask where Zac and my new little sister are. In fact, I haven’t seen them since that first day at the hospital.
“Will Poppy be there?” I ask my parents from the back seat.Buckled in, as Mom put it.
I catch them exchanging an uneasy look that I can’t read as we pull out of the hospital parking lot.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, alarmed. “Is Poppy okay?” I was toldPoppy wasn’t allowed in the hospital, so I’m sure he must be waiting at home for me.
My mother turns in the passenger seat to face me. Her blond hair is swept up in an intricate knot at the back of her head, and her eyes study me for a moment. She always pauses before she speaks to me. “Holly, Poppy’s gone to live with another family for a while. He’s safe, and he’s happy, and he’s being very well taken care of. I promise.”
I blink several times and gulp over the lump in my throat. “What? Why? Why isn’t Poppy coming home with me at my house?”
My father jumps in before Mom can answer. “We spent a lot of time talking to your doctors about everything that’s happened to you. You’re not going home yet, Holly.” He glances at me in the rearview mirror. “You will soon, but just not yet. You’re not ready.”
“Can I go live with Poppy, then?” His new home sounds really nice. But somehow, I’m not sure Poppy reallyissafe and happy. Something about my mother’s voice didn’t sound honest to me.
My heart sinks as Mommy firmly states, “No, Holly. That’s not possible—”
“But why? Wh-where am I going?”
Back in the hole. Until you can be a good girl.
My mother touches my father’s shoulder, stopping him from answering me. “You’re going to be staying at a very nice place for a little while,” she says, not meeting my eyes. She gives me a quick, strained smile. One of many I have seen. From everyone. “It’s different, kind of like a hospital but not like the hospital you were just in. It’s also like a school, and there are small apartments, too. It will be like your own safe little world. It has everything you need. There are really nice doctors and teachers that will help with more… life things that you need to learn.”
I crinkle my nose. “Life things?”
“Yes. Like math, and reading, and social skills, coping, and behavior. Cooking and laundry. You’ll be around other people your age who have been through similar… experiences. And once you get better, you’ll even have your own little apartment and a roommate. A girl close to your age.” Again, my parents exchange a look, but this one I read perfectly; it’s one of discomfort. “A special doctor will talk to you about the things that… happened… to you, so you can feel safe and normal.”
Safe and normal?I’m not sure any amount of talking is ever going to make me feel safe and normal. “I don’t even know what that’s supposed to feel like, so how will I even know if I feel it or not?”
“Honey, you will,” she says, slightly exasperated. “That’s what the doctor is going to help you with. It’s what they specialize in. Don’t you worry.”
The familiar feeling of panic and helplessness starts to creep up again. “I don’t want any help,” I say emphatically. “I just want to go home and be with Poppy. Please…”
My begging is ignored.As usual.
“We know, and we want you to come home soon, but your father and I think it’s best that we take it slow.” My mother hesitates and shakes her head slightly. “We both have extremely busy jobs. We can’t be home during the day to be with you. Zac has his own condo with his girlfriend, and Lizzie has piano practice and gymnastics.” She rubs her hand across her forehead. “We just have to figure it all out. But it’s not far from where we live at all. Just across town, actually. We’ll visit you, I promise.”
Defeated, I pull my backpack across the seat and onto my lap, ignoring my mother’s look of disapproval. I might not know a lot of “life things,” as they said, but I’ve seen this on TV many times.They don’t have time for me. They’ve all moved on and built their lives around each other, and I’m just the oddball in the way now.
“I don’t need a babysitter,” I protest, but it comes out weak and immature, which I am well aware is something I need to work on to fit in. “I can find things to be busy at just like everyone else.”
“We know you can, Holly,” my mother says. She sounds almost too confident. Another quick, strained smile follows. “And you will. It’s just going to take some time.”
“And what about the prince?” I ask, worried that it might take him another eleven years to find me again now that they’re moving me. “Are you going to let him know where I am?”
“Yes,” she says with an eye roll. “Now, please, stop getting yourself all worked up over silly things. Look out the window, it’s a beautiful day.”
She turns back around in her seat, and both my parents stare out the windshield as if I’m not even there, leaving me confused and forgotten.
Abandoned.
Beautiful day or not, I’m going from one prison to another. For so long I wanted to go home and be with my family again, and now that I can, it’s all gone. Time has taken everything away from me.
CHAPTER 5
Holly
Two years later