Page 70 of Tied

“Then don’t go screwing strangers. It’s only going to make you feel worse. I’m going to guess she probably has feelings for you, too, and you’re just in denial about it like you are with everything else.”

I wish.“It’s complicated. Right now we’re just kinda friends.”

She squeezes my shoulder. “That’s the best place to start.”

“Ya think?”

“I do.” She plays with the cap of her water for a few moments. “This fear thing, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker, Ty. Everyone has fantasies, or fetishes, call them what you want. You might want to at least lose the mask, though. That’s creepy as fuck.”

“She was kidnapped, kept in a basement, starved, raped, and mentally fucked with, Tessie. I don’t think she’s gonna be up for role-playing just to feed my horny little dark side.”

She doesn’t even wince.

“Ya never know. One of the girls in this biz with me? She was molested when she was young and now she’s really into wild stuff. I think it helps her cope, in a way. She’ll fuck all damn day and night. Just the other day she—”

I put my hand up in disgust. “Okay, okay. Spare me the details.”

She shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m just saying… just because Holly went through some really bad things doesn’t mean she’s some kind of prude or needs to be treated like glass. She probably just wants to be treated like a normal woman and not tiptoed around.”

“I don’t think she wants to be fear-fucked. And I don’t want to do that to her. She’s been through enough.”

“Maybe letherdecide what she wants? Don’t think for her, Ty. Talk to her, take it slow. Feel her out. There’s always a way to work through things if you want it bad enough.”

I do want it. I want it really fucking bad.

“Well, thanks for your sexual expertise, Tessie. It’s been quite enlightening, to say the least.”

She rolls her eyes. “Just listen to me. Listen tosomeone, for once. Open up, trust someone. Get out of your own fucking way. That shit is getting tired.”

I grin, feeling slightly better. “Not bad advice, little sis. I may even let you keep that two grand.”

She kicks me playfully. “I’d rather you keep it and come visit me sometimes. And visit Mom. Can you do that? Stop punishing yourself, and the rest of us. We all miss you. We’ve all put the past behind us. What’s done is done, Ty. You had an accident, you did some bad shit, and you let yourself fall into a really bad hole. It’s not too late to climb out. God knows everyone in our family has tried to dig you out. You have to get your head together and do it yourself.”

CHAPTER 21

Holly

He’s different today, and I’m silently analyzing him from my wooden stool even though I know I’m not supposed to examine people. His hands shake as he picks out the tools he needs from the old red chest, and he’s on his sixth cigarette since I got here.

“What’s wrong?” I finally ask him, after almost an hour has gone by and he’s barely said a word or even looked at me. It’s been a week since our disastrous kiss, and up until today, I thought everything was okay between us. Now I’m not so sure.

“Nothing.” He continues to hammer a piece of metal around a thin cylinder until I get up and grab the tool from his hand and lay it on the workbench.

“You’re lying.” I try to say it as unaccusingly as I can.

“I have work to do,” he says gruffly.

“Why won’t you look at me or talk to me today? Do you want me to leave?”

His eyes close for a long moment, and his hands grip the edge of the workbench. “No,” he says under his breath. “Not at all.”

“Then can you please tell me what’s bothering you? You can tell me anything.”

His head snaps up, and he looks at me with a strange, unnerving smile on his face. “Really? Anything?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Fine.” He picks up a rag and wipes his hands on it, then tosses it onto his tool chest. “I almost fucked my sister last night.”

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