Page 28 of Feel Free to Scream

I chance opening one eye a bit, to see her handing me what looks like a tall glass of orange juice, with two Tylenols. “You’re an angel.”

It’s a struggle, but I make myself sit up, and wash down the pills with a big gulp.

“What you really need is grease. I’m about to head down to breakfast. Wanna come?”

“No,” I reply, because the idea of moving more than I already have in the next forever sounds like torture.

“Well, too bad. You actually do need to eat, or you’ll feel like this all day. Trust me, it’s not my first rodeo. Except mine involved a hell of a lot booze. God, you truly are a lightweight, aren’t you?”

“I hate alcohol. Give me fifteen?”

I drag myself to the bathroom. It’s only after a long hot shower that my brain can think in anything other than garbled groans. Then flashes from yesterday come back to me.

Oh god. What the fuck did I do?

I’m blushing as I brush my teeth, thinking about the way Keller touched me. And I let him. I really did. I mean, I might have said a few words like “shouldn’t,” and “can’t,” and “boyfriend,” but the bottom line was, I didn’t even try to make him stop, or get away from him. I wanted it. Him.

I wish I could blame it all on the booze, but that wouldn’t be truthful. Even now, as my mind replays the way he touched me, I’m not filled with regret as much as craving for more.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I am a terrible person.

I know what this means, of course. I need to break up with Noah. I can’t have him as a boyfriend and think about another guy that way. Letting that other guy do what he wanted with me, too.

I distract myself from my personal drama by thinking about the later part of the night. The girl in the pool.

“Have you heard what happened to her?” I ask as I walk out of our small en-suite. “The girl from yesterday. Is she okay?”

“Yeah, I asked Cross first thing this morning. She woke up. Apparently, she’s dealing with some issues at home and wanted to end it all. So fucking sad. Cross says the sharks are going to pay for her therapy. She’s seeing one of them.”

“Oh. Generous of them.”

And generous isn’t the first word that comes to mind when I think about Cross and those cold, probing hazel eyes.

“More than likely, he doesn’t want her family to sue. She did it in their house; they could claim she fell, the pool was unsafe, or whatever. Those people always solve issues with money. You really like that skirt, huh?”

Distracted, I look down at myself. I just grabbed the first clothes I saw, the skirt from yesterday and one of my dozens of cream blouses.

“Oh, sorry, I can change.”

“Don’t sweat it, wear it whenever you’d like. It suits you. And in case you hadn’t noticed, I am a bit of a clothes addict.”

She tilts her head to her side of the room, where next to the generous built-in wardrobe, she’s placed a portable one, filled to the brim.

I hadn’t noticed, actually. I just figured the extra space was to fit her cosplaying stuff. She does dress pretty conservatively, from what I’ve seen so far—outside of her fandom outfits. But she always looks very nice.

“Thank you. I like it. Maybe you should take me shopping. After I find a job, that is.”

I remember Keller telling me his sister is looking for a babysitter, but the idea of approaching him about that after last night is preposterous. I’m going to have to start job hunting as planned, after I get my schedule tomorrow.

“I’ll never say no to a shopping trip.” She grins a little before clearing her throat. “So, about yesterday. Are you really going to go to the cops?”

I pause, unsure. Something about that officer really rubbed me the wrong way. He was trying to get dirt on the houses, that much was obvious.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to, but do I have any choice? Won’t I get in trouble if I don’t?”

“Please, they didn’t even get your name.” She rolls her eyes. “You didn’t do anything, and the girl’s said she jumped of her own volition, so the police aren’t even involved any longer.”

I smile, relieved at least one of my worries is baseless. “Good. So, where are we eating?”

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