Page 35 of Feel Free to Scream

Each is different; one, all white, with deep black cuts where eyes are supposed to be, reminiscent of a skull. Another in the shape of a wolf, a third, silver. In the middle, the tallest of the figures wears a dark blue neon-accented mask with blue eyes and a mouth carved in a sewed-up parody of a smile.

Fuck. I’m seriously seconds from pissing myself.

“Come on in.” I get the feeling it’s the one in the center talking. I can’t say for sure; I don’t see any mouths moving. The voice isn’t recognizable. I think some device alters it, making it deeper, almost robotic.

I don’t want to come in. Masks and cloaks, gloves, and darkness. Are they going to fucking kill me?

Shit, not even Lily knows I’m here.

They’re going to fucking murder me, aren’t they?

“The board wants us to assess whether you can keep your mouth shut about private business. You also have earned a punishment from us. Should you submit to the council, we will vote to reinstate you at Rothford.”

I can hear my heart beat in my ears. “You’d do that?”

“Depends. Can you be a good girl and do what you’re told, Claire?” There’s a challenge there.

I make myself take three steps into the dark room, and repeat what I told the board member. "I'll do anything.”

“Yes, the president said as much.” The eerie voice sounds amused. “Let’s see if it’s true. Kneel, Claire.”

I fight my body and all my instincts, but I do it. I get on my fucking knees, jaw tight, fists shaking.

“How about that? We have ourselves a good girl after all.”

A few chuckles ricochet off the walls, freezing my blood.

“Your punishment is four hours at the mercy of the council. You will not protest, no matter how much you want to. You will not speak unless prompted. And you will keep your mouth shut about what happens, permanently. If you breathe a word, you will be immediately expelled and extensive records of those four hours will be sent to everyone you’ve ever known. Understood?”

I should be shocked. I should be outraged. In truth, I am both unsurprised and relieved that they’re only demanding four hours, not the whole year, not my entire life.

“What will you do to me?” I whisper.

There’s a pause. “A great many things.”

“I'm a virgin.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, as I look down, cheeks aflame.

Because it will be sexual, I have no doubt. They are going to use my body for four hours.

It can’t be how I dothatfor the first time. I’ll remember it for the rest of my days, and it will be so awful. Fuck, I should have had sex with anyone. Keller, yesterday. Noah, ages ago. Anyone.

“Your pussy can be left out of the equation.” I lift my eyes to the masks, shocked. “No vaginal penetration will occur.”

“Really?” I whisper, completely dumbfounded.

That’s…kind. A lot kinder than expected. How fucked up is it that I’m finding that kind, and reasonable?

“Everything else is permissible.So what do you say, Claire? Is your comfort and dignity for four hours worth four years of tuition at Rothford to you?”

There's only one answer.

16

CLAIRE

“I’ll do it.” I swallow. “Whatever you want, for four hours.”

“How very obliging.” The man in the middle, in the blue mask—I was right then, he’s the speaker—lifts his hand to show me an alarm clock. “Tick-tock, Claire. Your time starts now.”

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