Page 33 of Feel Free to Scream

“So let’s get this over with in as fast as possible, yes?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You won’t mind if I speak plainly. This university was built and founded for one purpose: educating the children of certain families. Nowadays, when a school achieves this level of excellence, many young students, such as you, aspire to be accepted there. So we opened it up. It is the modern way. But, Claire, don’t mistake what that means. Rothford remainsours.”

He takes a few steps, crossing the length of the long table until he’s only a few feet away from me.

“Some of the students here are rather stupid, actually. But their fathers, and their fathers’ fathers, spent money and time to ensure they could still have a place to improve upon their former level of stupidity, turning them into something more or less useful to society. Do you understand?”

Again, I nod, because I really do. Isn’t it the way everywhere? People don’t truly need to be super-smart to get into an Ivy League either; not if they have the right surname, the right amount of money. I know this. I hate it, but I know it all the same.

“You’re no one’s daughter.”

The accusation is a blow straight to the chest, but it’s still right. More right than he knows, in all likelihood. My mother might have chosen to give birth to me, despite her pregnancy happening when she was sixteen, but she played no part, and has never had an interest in raising me. My father has never been in the picture. But even if they’d both “done the right thing”—as was seen at the time, though how can it be right for two kids to try to raise a baby neither of them wants, I’ll never understand—they would still very much be nobodies. In this town. In the world.

“And when no one’s daughter chooses to become problematic, we don’t tend to have much patience for it,” the man concludes.

I bite my lower lip, desperately preventing myself from telling him all the reasons why he should find time, have the patience.

“That said, people who are of consequence to the board have intervened, so here we both are. On a Sunday evening.”

He makes it plain he would rather be anywhere else, and he resents me for dragging him into his office.

I lower my eyes.

“Do you understand what you’ve done?”

I swallow. “I talked to the cop. I was…tipsy.” Thank god for Lily coaching me on that specific question. “I’ve never drunk much alcohol, so it went straight to my head. Even then, it was obvious to me they were trying to incriminate people—get me to say someone gave me something. I lied. I said I took the drinks myself. I told the officer I stole it. But Lily and Keller have made it clear I shouldn’t have said anything. I am sorry. So sorry. Please, sir. I'll do anything,” I assure him, meaning each word.

"Would you indeed?” The man marks a pause, those eyes fixed on mine. “Well, the board has made its decision to protect the privacy of the student body based on your actions.”

My stomach drops.

“But everyone makes mistakes. If you can prove to the student council that this was indeed a mistake, the board can reconsider. Note that several students on the council were directly affected by your actions, and it will take some convincing to rectify this. I will inform them that you'll discuss it at length with them tonight at ten, in the Vesper Tower. The council will email back their assessment and you will have our final decision Monday.”

That’s it? All I have to do is plead my case to some students, and I’ll know tomorrow?

But even as those words cross my mind, I rebuke them. No, it won’t be that simple. They’ll want me to pay for it. That’s the way in Thorn Falls. Lily had to kiss Cross to get that fake picture erased. Keller convinced me to kiss him by dangling something I couldn’t resist either.

They will make me pay for my right to remain here.

This man is just allowing them to do so.

But I told the truth. There’s nothing I won’t do to avoid being expelled from the best college in the state, on this coast, maybe in the country. Especially since I can’t afford to go anywhere else.

Whatever the council wants to do with me, I’ll have to submit to their will.

15

CLAIRE

Ireally wish Lily were around when I head back to our dorm room, to keep me sane, and maybe prep me again.

The board member—I don’t even know his name—said ten at the Vesper house. Even planning to arrive a good fifteen minutes early, I know there’s no point in leaving before a quarter past nine; the Vesper House is right next to the Wyvern House, and it took about half an hour to walk there yesterday. That means, time to waste.

I know I should eat, but the very thought of food makes me nauseous.

In the absence of my advisor, I opt for an outfit change. And a shower, first. I need something to do to combat the anxiety.

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