Page 101 of Knot That Difficult

Once we’re both cleaned and wrapped in towels, I lead Ace to our new bedroom. We end up curled on the bed, his head on my chest.

“Can you purr for me?” he asks quietly.

I nod, stroke his hair, and let my chest rumble him to sleep.

I’m supposed to be the pack leader—the balance between Ben and Ace, and the one meant to stay rational through this whole ordeal.

But my control and sanity are slipping every moment I don’t hear from or see Devyn.

Giving her the distance that she’s asked for is painful, but it would be worse if we didn’t honor her wishes.

I just don’t know how long we can keep doing this.

* * *

Another day passes.

Another twenty-four hours of straight hell.

I focus on my work as best I can. I hold meetings with other vendors, and I visit cafés outside of Isleton to discuss the distribution of Con Coffee.

I take Ace with me, so he’s not left alone in our new house.

I can’t have him spiraling without me.

He’s been silent the entire day, which is deeply out of character and concerning.

It’s as if merely existing without Devyn is too much for him.

Even though I purred for him the entire night, he kept waking up every few hours and gasping for air.

It terrifies me, and I did the only thing I could think of that might make this better.

I invited Ben over tonight so we could all be on the same page.

We have to figure out a plan to earn Devyn’s forgiveness and show her how much she means to us.

Ace may have his own hangups about Ben, but he’s our best resource,andhe’s our packmate.

“Those letters were a good idea,” I tell Ace as we head back to Isleton for the evening.

Writing out everything to Devyn, explaining ourselves as much as we could without being there, was Ace’s suggestion. Ben agreed with it, and he’s been the one leaving our letters inside Tammy’s mailbox.

I don’t know how he’s managed to go near the house and not try to see her. He has more resolve than I do.

Since we haven’t seen each other since the mating bite, I did my best in those letters to tell Devyn how I feel about her.

I also told her about the scared boy I used to be, growing up with insane expectations and the constant fear of never being enough. I told her that there’s nothing more I want than to be a family with her, Ben, and Ace.

I wrote and wrote, and so did Ace and Ben.

I hope she reads them.

After all, Ace may blame himself, but this is truly my fault.

The minute that parking garage was mentioned, I should have had it fixed myself. It would have taken a simple phone call, and Devyn wouldn’t have been trapped down there.

I didn’t talk to Ace about what his expectations were for a mating bite.

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