Page 34 of Knot That Difficult

“You’re just not acting yourself,” River adds, scowling. “And it’s annoying.”

“Well, I’m sorry to inconvenience you, but?—”

“What are you worried about exactly?” he interrupts. “Which part is it? The part that she’s going out with an Alpha, or that she’s on a date with someone else?”

It’s not an accusation. It’s a genuine question, and I can’t believe I’m seriously considering opening up to my cousin about this.

“I’m fine,” I mutter.

“Bullshit. What are you afraid of?”

The unsettling feeling returns in my gut.

“It’s not fear.”

“What is it, then? Because it’s fucking something, and it’s written all over your face.”

“It’s…” River glances down at my foot, and I realize I’m shaking it again. He grins knowingly, and I groan.

“Fine. If I tell you, will you leave me alone after this so I can do my job?”

My cousin snorts. “Sure.”

I exhale slowly, still bewildered that River evenwantsto know about this. “I’m not an Alpha,” I say slowly.

“No shit.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “That’s part of the problem. I’m not an Alpha, and there are things that I’ll never connect with her on. I knew that going in, and it doesn’t bother me. Iwanther to have a pack. Yet now that it’s finally happening, I’m feeling a little…”

“Insecure,” River finishes for me.

I nod.

“Well, that’s fucking stupid.”

I scoff. “Okay?”

“That girl is over the fucking moon for you,” River continues, “and I really don’t know why. You’re a nerd and kind of weird, but you helpedgive her the courage to go after what she wants. You’re the reason she can do any of this.”

I’m getting whiplash from the combination of insults and praise. “How do you know all that?”

River shrugs. “Like I said. The women talk, and Skylar is worried about Devyn. So, I thought I’d check in with you, like I told her I would.”

“Okay, great. Is that it?” I start to turn my chair around, but River scowls at me.

“No, asshole.Listento me. According to Skylar, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to Devyn. So, this insecurity shit? It’s bullshit. Stop it.”

“Sure. I’ll do exactly as you say,” I mutter sarcastically.

“Okay, gross,” River sighs and drags a hand through his hair. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this.”

I raise an eyebrow, waiting.

He shifts in his chair and huffs before speaking. “You’re a good person, all right? I’ve seen the way you interact with her. What I’m trying to get it at is, you have no reason to be insecure. She’s comfortable searching for a packbecauseof you. So what if you’re a fucking Beta? Who gives a fuck? Your heart isn’t any different from an Alpha’s. You love her, she loves you, and that’s what fucking matters.” He makes a face. “Fuck. You’d better remember it, and it’d better make you feel better, because I’m not saying it again.” Then he opens his desk drawer and pulls out a white cookie box I recognize from the café and takes a bite of a dark brown macaron.

“Have one of these,” he says around a bite. “And get over it.”

He passes me the box, and I grab a strawberry macaron, turning it over in my fingers.

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