Page 95 of Knot That Difficult

I nod.

“I think you had it in your head that it had to be perfect, and now you’re beating yourself up for it,” Skylar says.

“But it’s my fault,” I whisper, staring at my dish. “I begged them to do it. And I had been asking Ben to do it for so long, and he was reluctant.”

“There’s nothing to be at fault for,” Skylar says. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You gained a pack, Dev. You did the most natural thing on the planet.”

I continue to stare at my plate, shaking my head.

“She has to figure that out herself,” Tammy says gently. “We can’t make her do that, Skylar.”

I eat in silence, absorbing my friends’ words while they chatter about work.

The beef bourguignon is savory and rich, and I know Ben would love it.

I wish he were here to taste it.

I’m sure Ace and Connor would love it, too.

My inner Omega quietly cries at her loneliness, the ache from the mating bond making me nauseated.

I can only handle eating about a quarter of my plate before I put my fork down, the pain in my chest outweighing my hunger.

“Will it always hurt like this?” I ask softly.

There’s a moment of silence from everyone at the table.

“Your mating bite is fresh,” April offers finally. “Youshouldbe around them now, but you’re choosing to isolate yourself. That’s why you feel sick.”

“I can guarantee you they’re feeling the same way,” Skylar adds. “Every time River, Landon, and Vincent had to go to work after we bonded, it was torture for the four of us.”

Guilt eats at me. “I don’t want them to hurt,” I whimper. “Only me.”

“When you haveno reason to.Torturing yourself isn’t going to help anything,” Skylar says. “I mean, the only good thing that will come from it is when you finally see each other, it will bewild.You’re only prolonging the inevitable, Dev. Why hurt yourself for no reason?”

“Because,” I murmur, “I’m stupid.”

Tammy slams her hand down on the table, and the three of us jump, startled.

“You’re absolutelynotstupid,” she snaps. “You willnottalk about yourself that way in my house. Do you understand?”

I nod quickly with wide eyes. “Okay!” I squeak.

“I don’t let any of my girls talk about themselves like that. You are brilliant and beautiful, and have ahugeheart,” Tammy continues. “You’re allowed to feel however you want about what happened between your pack—your feelings are always valid. However, thinking about yourself that way, lowering your worth, is a dangerous road I will not tolerate you being on.”

I continue nodding, my eyes bugging out of my head.

Tammy hasnevertaken that tone with me. Skylar lets out a low whistle, and April simply looks at me and shrugs.

“Devyn. Look at me. Do you understand me?” Tammy’s voice softens, despite her harsh words.

I gulp. “I do.”

“Good.”

Instead of the urge to cry, though, an inner strength begins to form.

Tammy believes in me, and so do April and Skylar.

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