Page 14 of Unfix Me

“I’m fine, Mom. Just sick.”

“Don’t tell me you were already partying on your first weekend.”

“No. Just a bug or food poisoning. I don’t know.”

“Good. Not good but better than the other.”

I might have laughed if I wasn’t on the verge of death. “Trust me. Partying sounds like a nightmare.”

“Do you have medicine? Pepto Bismol? Water?”

“I’m fine. If I need anything, I can text a friend.”

“Tell me about your friends.”

It was hard not to groan. I was twenty and in college. The last thing I wanted to do was tell her these kinds of things.

My stomach twisted when I remembered what Kasey had said. If I told my mom about West- everything about him- she’d freak out. Then, she’d involve my dad and they would both voice their concern. I didn’t need that. It didn’t matter what his sexuality was. Just because he liked men didn’t mean it would somehow rub off on me.

I thought back to what I’d learned at Camp Dumont. There was a bunch of religious stuff, which wasn’t something I was really into. My parents were Christian, but the kind who went to church on Christmas and only prayed before dinner on holidays.

My counselor at camp emphasized the importance of being around like-minded people. If you want to be successful, spend your time with successful people. If you hung out with drug users, you were more likely to try drugs at some point. I saw the merit in it, although I didn’t know the science. How true was that? It seemed stupid that hanging out with someone who was gay would make me gay.

But I used to have those thoughts. That was the problem. We fixed it. Was I strong enough to keep myself from reverting to that place?

“I met a few guys during orientation,” I said as I pulled at a string on my comforter. “A football player and a pre-law student.”

“Oh, that’s amazing, Sen. You could play football with him.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, I see why you haven’t responded to the email I sent you earlier.”

“Email? Mom, I hardly ever check my email.”

“You should. You’re going to miss important messages.”

Yeah, like how to grow my penis with one simple trick or an offer to win an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii.

I put the phone on speaker mode and navigated to the app. It was hard not to laugh when I saw the spam emails that nearly drowned out the one from my mom. I opened it and my brow furrowed. The logo was one that I knew well.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Your father keeps in touch with the man who used to run Camp Dumont back when you went. When he heard that you were in school in Seattle, he gave us the information for this counselor. He was part of the camp and after he left, he got his degree in psychology. He even helped out for quite a few years during the summer.”

“You want me to see a therapist?”

“No, not really. We just thought that it’d be nice for you to have the option if you ever need to. He’s someone who will understand anything you might need to… discuss.”

With my thumb and index finger, I rubbed my brows. Sometimes, I wondered if my parents had implanted something in my head that let them hear my thoughts. Maybe they’d intended to spring something like this on me before I even came here.

“I’ll… think about it.”

“We’dreallylike it if you went, baby.”

Grinding my teeth together, I bit back what I wanted to say.Mind your business. I was fine. They didn’t need to be on my ass about it. Why did they even care so much about this? I did what they wanted, figured my shit out, andI was fine.

“Sure, Mom. I’ll check out the information.”

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