Page 50 of Unfix Me

“Sen, what are you doing here?”

“Can you answer my question first?”

His throat bobbed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just gonna be sore.”

“Where?”

He put a hand on his chest. I closed the distance between us and nearly touched the same spot, but I lowered my arm to my side.

“I was worried,” I whispered.

“Don’t be.”

“Do you think we could maybe talk?”

The way he eyed me made me breathless. I couldn’t tell if it was disdain or anger. Maybe something else entirely.

“I liked when we used to hang out,” I went on when he didn’t answer.

“Jesus, Sen.” He swiped a hand down his face. “I really enjoyed hanging out with you too, but it doesn’t matter. This back-and-forth thing doesn’t work for me. You can’t try to be my friend one day and homophobic the next. It just doesn’t work.”

“It’s not because I think you’ll get confused.”

“What?” His voice was tinged with frustration, but I stood my ground.

“I’m worriedI’llget confused. It’s me who’s the problem.”

“I don’t understand. Why are you confused?”

“Because you’re beautiful,” I blurted. Putting a hand over my mouth, I felt my face heat.

His eyes were wide. “I’m…”

“It’s fine that you’re gay. I’m not homophobic. I just can’t be around that.”

The anger came back into his voice and his expression hardened. “Sounds homophobic to me.”

“No, it’s… complicated.”

My heart galloped in my chest, faster with every word we said to each other. He seemed to sense my anxiety because he let out a breath and relaxed against the wall.

“I like unraveling things,” he said gently.

“I have thoughts.”

“Okay, you mad little rabbit. What are these thoughts?”

“About men. And it’s wrong. I have to keep away from that.”

He blinked rapidly a few times, then slower. His eyes dropped to the floor for a moment before coming back to my face.

“You think about men? Sexually?”

I nodded. “It’s an affliction. I have to work on it all the time, but it’s harder with someone like you.”

“Someone like me…”

“Attractive,” I whispered. “Kind and alluring.”

---