Page 51 of Unfix Me

“So, you’re attracted to me and you have sexy thoughts about other guys. That’s normal.”

“No, it’s not!”

The force of my statement surprised both of us. When he stepped forward, I moved back.

“I don’t care that you’re this way,” I continued. “But it’s not me. I’m not supposed to do this. They fixed me, but now I’m slipping. It’s all a goddamn disaster.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” He held up a hand. “They… Who fixed you, Sen?”

“I’m not supposed to be this way.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Shaking my head, I took another step back. “This isn’t right. I need to go. I’m sorry.”

I turned around, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. Suddenly, I was pressed up against the wall with his arms boxing me in. I’d never felt more trapped and exhilarated at the same time. He kept his body away from mine, only close enough so that I couldn’t escape. He smelled like sweat and grime, but I couldn’t even bring myself to care.

“I want to hear what this is about,” he insisted firmly.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does, actually.” Not knowing what to say, I stayed silent. “You’re allowed to like men.”

“I don’t like men. My head just gets confused.”

“You really think that.” He sounded almost shocked and the soft tone of his voice felt like it stroked some damaged place deep inside of me. “On a soul-deep level, you think there’s something wrong with you. Oh, Sen. I’m so sorry someone made you feel like this.”

My breaths hitched as panic burned through my chest. “Back up. Please.”

“Who did that? Who wanted to fix you? Your parents?”

“I said back up.”

“You came here. I think it’s because you wanted to tell someone. Me.”

“Please,” I whispered.

He pinched my chin, tilting my face so that I would look at him. The pure kindness in his eyes made mine feel hot. I wanted to escape and lean into him; push him away and beg him to hold me together. My gaze dropped to his lips and without thinking about it, I leaned forward.

A surprised sound came from his throat and he was tense against me, but after a moment, his lips softened. He let out a long breath through his nose, then trailed his hand down to my neck. His fingers wrapped lightly around my throat, holding me in place as he deepened the kiss. My body lit up with a fire that had been absent since I kissed Travis at camp. Even then, it wasn’t this consuming.

Kissing Kai was delirium and ecstasy. It took those pieces of resistance that were barely hanging on and completely disintegrated them. I didn’t even miss them as they returned to whatever black void they’d been conjured from. All that existed in this moment was him.

Chapter 18

Kai

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I probably should’ve taken a step back immediately, but I couldn’t. Something about the way Sen kissed me felt like he’d put the force of his entire soul into it. And he gave me the damn thing as if I knew what the hell to do with it.

Pressing closer to him, I sucked on his lower lip. I wished I wasn’t wearing all of my gear so that there was less between us. Dropping my helmet to the floor, I brought my hand to the side of his neck while I cupped his jaw with the other.

“That’s why I felt differently about you,” I murmured against his mouth.

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been lying to myself about wanting to kiss you. It would’ve been rude if you were straight.”

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