Page 53 of Unfix Me

Crazy bastard.

In just a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt, the air felt cold enough to make me shiver as I stepped out of the locker room. The lights were still on in the field, but it had cleared out. When the stands were empty like this, I wanted to sit in the middle and just bask in it. If I let my mind wander, I could imagine my dad and mom in their usual spots back home, waving and screaming my name just to embarrass me.

I paused when I saw a figure sitting on the grass by our team benches. My heart sped up and I couldn’t help but quicken my pace. He was in the same spot from before when I burned the coin with him. He must’ve heard me, but he didn’t look up.

“Hey,” I greeted.

It wasn’t often that someone made me nervous like this. I wasn’t exactly sure why. Sen was likable and even though I didn’t let myself think about him that way before, now that he’d taken a step and shown interest, my mind wouldn’t accept any excuses. I liked him and wanted to know him more. So, I dropped to the ground beside him and took his hand. He immediately tensed and started to pull back but seemed to make a conscious effort not to.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Stop apologizing to me, Sen.”

“This is so pathetic. I’m being a little bitch when I should suck it up and act like a man.”

I tried not to show my distaste for that entire statement. “A man… Do you have a dick?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Scratch that. More importantly, do you identify as a man?”

“Of course.”

“Then you’re a man. There are literally no other qualifications aside from that last one.”

He stared down at our hands. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Kai.”

“I know. Hey.” I took his face in my hands and pressed our foreheads together. “You’ve gotta tell yourself that it’s okay, Sen.”

“It’s not okay. I’m not okay.”

The way his voice cracked made my chest constrict. I held the back of his head and pulled him against my chest. His arms wrapped around me tightly, clinging to me like I was the only thing keeping him above water.

“It is okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe with me.”

“You can’t tell anybody,” he insisted.

“I would never out you. When I say that you’re safe, I mean it.”

I continued to cradle him against me. As his breathing evened out, so did my heart rate. I was still worried, but it meant something that he came out here to wait for me. He didn’t completely run and I knew it went against everything that had been instilled in him to make him feel so wrong in his skin.

“If I say that I like you, will you freak out?” I asked.

He laughed and pulled away. “I’ve been freaking out this entire time. No, that kind of felt good, actually. I already threw up, so maybe that helps.”

“You threw up?”

“It happens sometimes.”

“Will you tell me?”

Meeting my eyes, he drew in a shaky breath. “Yeah, but… not right now.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Are we burning a coin?” He nodded toward the bag.

“No, actually. We won, so we’re keeping it.”

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