Page 71 of Unfix Me

It turned me on so much that I struggled not to jack myself off while I did it, but the last thing I needed was to leave cum inside of a Halloween attraction. What if it became a crime scene at some point? I could be implicated. I’d probably get an indecent exposure charge and be known as the guy who came in a haunted house. No thanks.

On the walk back to the car, I felt giddy. The mask was hot after going on rides and through attractions, so after I confirmed that there was nobody in the parking lot, I raised it to rest atop my head.

“Do you mind if we go to this stupid frat thing?” Kai asked. “I want to check on West.”

“I’m fine with it. Just…”

“Yeah, we’ll be discreet. Don’t worry. No blowjobs in dark places.”

My cheeks heated, but I smiled. With our fingers threaded together, I felt light and free. Technically, I was anything but free, but this was better than anything else that had happened in my life. I was in awe that Kai felt this way about me too. He was insanely patient and always understood when I needed to take a step back. I couldn’t ask for a better person to explore my truth with.

“Sen?”

I froze, my entire body going tense.

No, no, no.

Kai squeezed my hand. It reminded me that we were in public, holding hands, and I wasn’t wearing my mask. If I lowered it now, would he believe that it wasn’t me?

“Hey, who are you?” Kai asked.

Derek came around his side to stand in front of us. I watched in horror as his eyes landed on our interlocked hands. I gagged, tasting cotton candy when I almost threw up. Kai looked concerned, but he clearly didn’t know what to do given my stupid boundaries.

“We have to go,” I blurted, tugging on his hand.

“Sen,” Derek called. “Let’s talk for a minute.”

I kept walking, all but dragging Kai with me. Realistically, it didn’t matter that much. I had no obligation to abide by Derek’s therapeutic bullshit, but it brought other things into focus, like the fact that I was lying to my dad about my sessions. He’d figure that out eventually. How long could I keep this a secret? I couldn’t imagine a scenario where I told my parents that I was gay and wasn’t going to try changing it. Up until now, I was kind of hoping I’d graduate and never talk to them again so it wouldn’t be an issue, but that was two years from now. Four if I got my master’s degree.

What was I doing? This was a disaster.

Kai opened the passenger door for me. “Who was that?”

“Nobody.”

He set his jaw but went around to his side without argument. While we headed toward what I assumed was the party, my leg bounced rapidly. I kept seeing Derek’s face, the shock and disappointment. There was some disgust in there and no matter how much I tried to fight off what they’d ingrained into me, I felt some of it as well once I was caught.

Caught. That made it sound terrible, like I was doing something truly wrong. I didn’t believe that anymore, but my head was all messed up. I just wanted to go back to Kai’s room and be with him alone where I didn’t have to be afraid of anyone.

We pulled up to a huge, two-story house with bright lights and loud music playing. There were people outside and up on balconies. I could smell the booze as soon as I opened the door.

“Should we split up?” I asked.

He eyed me for a moment. “Okay, I’ll go upstairs. That’s where the grosser stuff will probably be. Be careful, please.”

I nodded. He quickly ran his thumb over my lower lip before we separated. It still felt like there was heat there as I turned in a circle, scanning the mass of bodies. This wasn’t my idea of fun. There were far too many people. Too many eyes to see everything you did.

My hands were sweaty, so I rubbed them on my jeans. Someone bumped into me from behind, but when I turned around, they were already gone. This was my version of hell.

I started to walk through the crowd, quickly looking at each face that was attached to someone West’s size. Some of the football players were easily recognizable. I went up to one and got his attention.

“Do you know where West is?”

“With some girl last time I saw him.”

“Okay. What girl?”

He gave me an annoyed look before he went back to his conversation.

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