Page 1 of Defend Me

Prologue

“I was supposed to be having the time of my life.”

Brooks

November 2024 - In My High-Rise Contemplating Life

Putting my hand on my cheek, I winced at the way it stung. I’d never actually been punched in the face before and it sucked. Zero out of ten, would not recommend. I also wouldn’t recommend sleeping with a girl who already has a boyfriend.

To be fair, I didn’t know. It was stupid of me not to pay more attention, but I got distracted by some blonde hair and pretty eyes. I’d also been leaning into the distraction a little too much.

Mistake number one.

It was only three months into the school year and I couldn’t say I was having the time of my life. There were good things, but there were also shitty ones. I thought they’d balance each other out, but every day, it felt like my hands were slipping while I held onto the edge of a cliff for dear life.

Fuck Sadie and her nefarious, cheating ways. She thought deep throating was the end-all-be-all to dick sucking anyway. I’d never complain, especially in the midst of it, but if I was digging for other ways to insult her, I’d go with it. It was her boyfriend who punched me in the face, after all.

I needed good people in my life. My main friends were amazing and I had a dozen others I could call up. But I still felt empty.

Always fucking empty.

The stellar view from my apartment, my nice ass car, and my inevitable- I mean, exciting- future didn’t even touch the chasm that threatened me.

I’d be fine. I always was. I was Brooks Elrod and, in our family, things didn’t get us down. We kept it together. Not a soul in the world could see anything that might exist under the surface. Especially not my parents.

Nothing was wrong. It was perfect.

Chapter 1

From childhood's hour I have not been. As others were, I have not seen. As others saw, I could not awaken. My heart to joy at the same tone. And all I loved, I loved alone.

Brooks

Winter Break- Somewhere In An Overpriced House

Like the devious little shit I was, I’d lied to my parents about winter break. Yeah, I went home, but I told them I got two and a half weeks off when I actually got three. I planned to spend the few days leading up to the new semester in my apartment.

It would be really peaceful. Or lonely. It was fifty-fifty.

I loved my parents. They were better than many, despite their high expectations and the shitty demand that I cut off my hair before I graduate. My mom probably wanted my hair shorter so she could more effectively breathe down my neck. Kai and West told me I should say no and do whatever the fuck I want, which I was considering, but it would take a lot of courage to do that. Courage that I didn’t have.

Like I said, I loved my parents. They were just a bit suffocating.

More than a bit. They’d been burying me in wet cement since I was born and every year that I drew closer to becoming a lawyer, it hardened a little more. Securing me. Trapping me.

It came from a good place. They wanted the best for me and knew that I was capable of succeeding. I hadpotential.

That was the thing, though. I was smart and would have no trouble landing a job as a badass attorney. The expectation that I would do it, though, made me want to sabotage my entire future. I wanted to be an attorney; I didn’t want to feel pressured to do it.

There was this rebellious little voice in my head that always tried to deter me and I constantly had to keep it in check. My whole thing was to live it up while I could, which was part of the reason that I was digging into this pie like my life depended on it. I may have gone a little too hard on my penjamin in my room.

Well, YOLO.

“Are you eating regularly?” Mom asked, eyeing me a little warily.

I nodded. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re acting like a starving bear,” Dad muttered.

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