Page 103 of Defend Me

“Everything that’s on your mind.”

He laughed dryly. “What’s on my mind is how much of an asshole you are. For what? To piss off Dean?”

“No. Not entirely, at least. Linc was ready to throw the bitch out on the curb and claim West in front of everyone, so I helped him out with a better option.”

His brows went up. “That’s who Linc’s into? But West is straight.”

“Heard it before.”

He dropped his head back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. What the fuck did I have to do to make him give me his truth? Preferably with force and a healthy dose of rage.

“And because of you,” I added. “You want me to find someone else.”

“Then, go take her home.”

“Okay.”

I put my hand on the doorknob to leave. Behind me, I heard him get to his feet and I smiled. A bruising grip on my bicep turned me around. Wrapping an arm around his waist, I pulled him against me as I leaned back against the door.

“Let me go,” he demanded.

Since I was a king of consent, I released him.

“Yell at me,” I suggested.

“Move. I just want to go home.”

“Tell me why you’re mad.”

“Because you used me!” He took a step backward and clenched his jaw.

It felt like I couldn’t breathe. Of all the things I’d agonized over when it came to him, I hadn’t considered that he would think that.

“Used you?” I repeated softly. “No, Tilian.”

“I was fine with casual or whatever else you were able to give me, but I was just a safety blanket. You showed up and acted like you wanted me, then you left without a word.”

“I told you I wasn’t okay that night. I said it wasn’t healthy and you kissed me.”

He threw his hands in the air. His face was pink and I didn’t know if it was because of his anger or the drinks I saw him pound with West.

“Yeah, I kissed you. That was my mistake, but all I wanted to do was make you feel better. And I thought that, if I could bring you back to yourself, maybe you’d finally talk to me.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do now. It’s why I came to your dorm. I wasn’t even gonna go to this stupid ass party. It was an excuse to see you.”

“Well, we’re here now, aren’t we? Might as well take advantage of it. Go find someone to take home, then toss them aside when you’ve drained them enough to feel less empty.”

“You’re right,” I said, stepping toward him. “That’s my M.O.”

“Yeah, I know. I wish I would’ve believed it earlier. It wouldn’t hurt so damn bad.”

“You said you weren’t hurt.”

He clenched his jaw and looked away from me.

“I told you that you deserve better,” I went on. “That’ll never change.”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say, Brooks. It’s this kind of back and forth that makes it impossible with you.”

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