Page 11 of Defend Me

It was probably a good idea to lean into a friendship if one was being dangled in front of me, even if he ran in a crowd I’d never approach on my own. Since he approached me most of the time, I couldn’t really maintain my reclusive lifestyle anyway.

God, I was hopeless. I didn’t even like attention on me, but I also didn’t like being alone. I guess I was a contradiction. Add it to the list of weird things about me.

Chapter 5

“The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence.”

Brooks

Ready To Frighten An Introvert With Conversation

“Hey, man,” I said as I entered the classroom. “Happy fucking Thursday.”

I offered Tilian a big smile and hoped he’d return it. He sort of did, but it was obvious that I was freaking him out.

Maybe he was always like that. The guy was hot in that nervous and doesn’t know he’s cute kind of way.

“Hi,” he replied before he dropped his eyes to the textbook on his desk. It wasn’t the one for this class, but I wasn’t going to question his life.

“Day two. You ready to rock this shit?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Nah, you’re gonna chill and be invisible.”

God, he looked so scared. I bit my lip in an effort not to smile too much. I worried he’d think I was making fun of him. Maybe he was just squirrely because he was high. I could smell it faintly and it didn’t seem like he gave a shit about that, which I respected. I wouldn’t be able to walk into class like that. It wasn’t the right image to project and all that jazz.

“I’m screwing with you,” I noted as I sat down. “You’re fun to mess with.”

He laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair. It was long enough to brush his cheekbones and with its body, it tended to fall forward often, even when he tried to push it back. There was a pale, golden sheen to it that was beautiful, especially when the sun shone on it yesterday.

I wasn’t generally into light-haired men, but maybe that was part of my problem. Tall, dark and handsome hadn’t done me any favors in the past.

The boy next door vibe worked for Kai. I wouldn’t necessarily label Tilian as that, but he was attractive in a way that was both adorable and subtly hot, which matched his entire vibe. He thought he could go through life without being noticed. It probably worked, but now I was here, noticing him. It was what I did best.

When he met my eyes, I got a good glimpse of his blue ones for the first time. Against the paleness of his skin and hair, they stood out remarkably.

He’d barely looked at me when we met in the stands. Well, not when I was looking at him. He was inconspicuous about it, stealing glances when he thought I wouldn’t notice. The dude was gay as a daffodil- RIP Freddie- and I didn’t think he hid it; he just didn’t talk to people.

I leaned toward his desk and rested my elbows on it. His eyes widened, then he pulled his lip between his teeth.

Mm. I had a better term for him. Subtly sexy.

Blatantly, I let my eyes roam over him. He was lean with a waist that I imagined would look fantastic while he sported a crop top, like Will Smith in the nineties. He was both pretty and masculine, even though some would claim that his black nails negated that, but they were outdated dipshits.

If I ventured a guess, he was probably just under six feet tall. His timid nature made him seem smaller, but he had a nice physique and this close, if I moved past the scent of weed, he smelled like cedarwood. Simple and hot, even if overplayed.

“We should be friends.”

He hadn’t blinked for a while and it didn’t look like he was going to any time soon. “We should?”

“Unless you don’t want to.”

“I do,” he blurted quickly.

My lips pulled upward of their own accord. Before I could freak him out more by calling him cute, someone dropped into the seat on the other side of him.

Ah, it was my difficult pal who refused to answer my messages, even though he readevery single one of them.

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