Page 117 of Defend Me

“I… don’t think it matters.”

“I don’t slut shame.”

When I threw a pillow at his face, he cackled. I gripped his calves and yanked on him so that he was lying on his back, then I crawled over him. My knee settled between his legs and he moved his hips, urging me for more.

“You called me a slut,” I pouted.

“Does that bother you?”

“Not in the least, but for my purposes, I’m gonna say that it does.”

“What are these mysterious purposes?” he asked as he slipped his hands underneath my shirt.

I lifted his and he maneuvered out of it. The sight of his body beneath me solidified my confidence in the decision to keep him. Every time I was with him, it felt right. Then, I’d lie down to sleep and question if I was fucking up my future by getting distracted with something as frivolous as a relationship. They took time and work. If I told my parents, would they be disappointed?

Dipping my head, I pressed my lips against his collarbone, touching each of the letters there. I felt up his stomach and memorized every inch of his smooth skin, even though I’d already done it a dozen times. My tongue grazed his nipple and drew a moan from him. I sucked on it quickly before I moved to the other.

He tried to touch my chest, but I grabbed his wrist and pinned it above him. His sound of dissent was musical. I continued upward, tracing his collarbone again, then kissed the column of his throat. His breaths were heavy and with every kiss I placed on his body, he trembled.

“Beautiful,” I murmured against his neck.

“Really?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

I lifted my head and stared at his lips as he bit one of them. Oh, these motherfuckers he’d been with were on my shit list. Nobody had made him feel the way he deserved.

“What don’t you like about yourself?” I asked as I returned to nibbling on his skin.

“Uh…” He gasped when I ran my tongue up the shell of his ear. “I’m just nothing special. Not muscular.”

“You’re lean,” I corrected, running my hand up his abdomen. “Next.”

“People like dark hair.”

“Kai, who is ridiculously hot and gets boyfriend of the century award, would burn the world for Sen. Next.”

“We don’t have to…” My teeth sunk into his neck hard enough for him to yelp. “Okay, um, I don’t look good with facial hair.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Less stache rash. Anything else? I know you have a gorgeous dick, so we can scratch that off the list.”

“Boring,” he said softly.

I stilled. He wouldn’t look at me, so I grabbed his jaw. “You are not boring. Who told you that?”

“Nobody. Some people. I don’t know.”

“Fuck those people. After our first conversation, I was dying to talk to you again. Being the world’s version of some negligible attribute is what’s boring. You are perfect, Tilian Holloway. And that is not a word I ever use lightly.”

He just stared at me for a few seconds, then he arched up to capture my lips. Did I want to fuck him into this couch right now? Yes. Was I dying to hear my name tear free from his throat while he coated my furniture in his cum? Affirmative.

Just because I liked sex didn’t mean I couldn’t wait. I wasn’t sure how long it would be, but I wanted it to be a natural, gradual progression. It was entirely new to me.

I sat up and grabbed onto his thighs. He didn’t resist when I pulled him into my lap. His legs settled behind me and he used his ankles to make me lean forward. Our bodies were pressed so closely together that when I kissed him, I felt the shiver that traveled down his back and the way his muscles contracted.

“God, you’re beautiful,” I breathed. “So goddamn beautiful. I don’t deserve to have you.”

“Too bad. You can’t get rid of me.”

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