Page 138 of Defend Me

I brushed his lip with my tongue and when he opened, I bit down on it and tugged hard. “Tell me one of your fantasies.”

When he looked ready to pull back, I grabbed his throat, immediately making him compliant.

“Uh, I don’t know. Probably what we did last night.”

I tutted at him. “That’s a cop out.”

With a groan, he wrapped his fingers around my wrist. “This. You, in general. The way you treat me.”

“Mm. Nobody’s ever tried to own you, baby?”

‘No,” he breathed. “They’ve used me for my body, I guess, but not like what you do. And through it all, you still make it seem like you care.”

“I do care.” I squeezed his throat, taking away his breath, and he just continued to look up at me. “Do you trust me?”

A single nod. My nostrils flared as I was assaulted by gardenia perfume and manicured nails on my skin.

“Then, you’re too naïve. Remember what I said about giving me your heart?”

I released him and turned to grab my bag. After I slung it over my shoulder, I headed for the door.

“Brooks.”

“I’m gonna put my stuff in the car, then see if Alex is up. I promised him a ride.”

On my way out, I heard Tilian release a frustrated growl.

Before I came here, I could’ve easily stopped at my apartment, a gas station, or dug around in my car for a hair tie, but I’d kept it down for Tilian’s sake. There was bound to be one on the floor somewhere, which was exactly why I dropped my bag in the trunk before I started searching every crevice. When I finally found one, it felt like my entire body lightened by fifty pounds.

Now that I felt a little less unhinged, I pulled out my phone and started walking toward the edge of their property. There was something I needed to do and I couldn’t put it off any longer.

*****

Making a new, unexpected friend

“Brooks, we’ve been worried about you.”

My dad’s tone wasn’t scolding or overly controlled like my mom’s when she was upset. I could hear the actual concern there and it made me feel bad for ignoring them.

I was a bit of a coward for calling him. I knew that she was in court right now since I’d called her secretary, Dorian, to see if she was in. It may have been pathetic, but with how volatile my emotions had been over the past few weeks, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her yet.

The cow on the other side of the short fence worked its jaw endlessly. It hadn’t stopped staring at me since I walked up to it. I’d never seen a cow in person and I was surprised by how cute I found it.

Dropping into a crouch, I wrapped some of the tall grass around my hand and pulled it from the ground. When I held it out, the cow ate it from my palm. Its lips felt weird as hell. Tentatively, I reached forward and ran my fingers over its fur. Did cows bite? Fuck, I hoped not.

“Sorry,” I said. “I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy for a text?”

“Yeah… No. I don’t know, Dad.”

“What’s going on?”

Tears pricked my eyes as I continued to stroke my new friend. There was a pond not too far away with a goose flapping the water off its wings. I watched it run off a couple of ducks like the asshole it was.

I had no idea if my dad knew about the situation with Holly. While I couldn’t imagine he’d approve, I’d thought the same thing about my mom. Lately, it felt like we were strangers. Ever since I got to Seattle, I’d been sinking deeper into these fears about who they really were as people, not just as my parents.

If he didn’t know, I sort of wanted to keep it that way. I wasn’t sure if it’d be worse if he agreed with her or was disgusted by me. Had they both done things like this on their path to success? Were millions of dollars worth getting on your knees for everyone who asked?

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