Page 24 of Defend Me

Maybe he wanted an easy lay and figured I’d be starving for it. He wouldn’t be wrong, per se, but that was beside the point. While I was positive that it’d be great with him, I also didn’t like the idea of being discarded after.

My back hit the wall and I forgot how to draw in breath. I flattened my palms behind me while I watched him get closer. His hands boxed me in on either side and he regarded me so intently that I wanted to shrink until he could no longer see me.

“You know that you’re desirable, right?”

“I, uh… I…” Clearing my throat, I lifted my chin and hoped I didn’t seem as weak as I felt. “Maybe. I don’t know. I’m weird, I guess.”

“You’re different. I think it’s cute.”

“Why?”

His head cocked. “Would you believe me if I told you?” My expression must’ve betrayed me because his eyes narrowed.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know I was attractive. I was just aware that I wasn’t the guy who’d be a runner up on The Bachelor or something. I was average, which was fine with me.

When I was being stared at by Brooks, I felt fucking self-conscious. The way he studied things, not just me, betrayed how much he paid attention. I didn’t know if it was possible for someone to hide much from him.

“What would make you believe me?” he asked.

“Why does it matter?”

“Because we’re friends now.”

“We are?” I all but whispered.

“Yeah, and I don’t let my friends think negative things about themselves. You’re beautiful, Tilian, and you definitely do something for me. I’ll prove it.”

I didn’t get a chance to ask him how he intended to do that. He just… kissed me. Like it was the easiest thing in the world. Me? I was spiraling into a hell of my own creation: the realm of overthinking.

What did I last eat and could he taste it? Were my lips dry? I hadn’t been using enough ChapStick lately and the cold weather wasn’t great for them. Could he tell how inexperienced I was? I’d slept with four guys, but they weren’t long term things and I hadn’t kissed much outside of that. Actually, a couple of them didn’t even kiss me, which wasn’t the best experience.

“Get the fuck,” he murmured against my lips, “out of your head.”

With a jerky nod, I leaned further back against the wall. He gripped my hip bones, holding me in place. When his tongue tried to break through my lips, I parted them. The surge of desire I felt as he began to explore my mouth made me relax into him.

Tentatively, I brushed his lower lip with my tongue. A soft sound came from his throat. It woke up my dick with a quickness and emboldened me to reach up and put a hand on the side of his neck, pulling him closer to me. I wished his hair was down so that I could feel it between my fingers. It looked really soft.

When he sucked on my tongue, I was both shocked and exhilarated. He paused to feel my piercing, then did it again. I didn’t know that was a thing and if someone told me, I would’ve thought it was weird. It was far from it.

My dick was throbbing, apparently not caring that this was just a kiss. It was more intimate than anything I’d experienced. It was passionate and driven by a deep need that I didn’t know existed inside of me.

My hips moved forward, which made my dick brush his thigh. I gasped like some teenager who’d never been touched before. It was ridiculous, but if we kept doing this, it was very likely I would cum in my pants. That would be humiliating.

He said he was attracted to me and now I was starting to believe it. Being wanted by him made me feel more confident- hopeful, even.

Brooks chuckled and I felt the reverberation of it against my lips. Even though I wanted to hold on tighter, I released him when he pulled back.

“See?” He booped my nose. “Adorable. If you just put yourself out there a bit, you’ll have no trouble finding a nice man. Not too nice, though. You need a little bad in your life.”

There was a knock on the door, so he turned to open it, leaving me dumbfounded. We’d literally only had a few interactions with each other. It was stupid to entertain any ideas about me and him. That kiss had just feltrealand for a minute, I sort of thought it was.

Oh, fuck me.

Chapter 8

Tilian

Brooks greeted someone, but I was still spacing out and I wasn’t quite ready to refocus my eyes. I had to get the shit in my head together. If only there was a label maker for my brain so that I could start categorizing things.

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