Page 29 of Defend Me

The pizza fell from his hand. He quickly snatched it off the comforter and took a bite without stopping for a moment to blow it off. Five second rule, I guess.

After a minute, he looked at me again. “What was the point of that, anyway?”

“Did you feel wanted? Did it make you forget your insecurities for a bit?”

“Yes, on both counts.”

“That’s the point. I told you that you’re desirable, but you didn’t believe me. If words don’t work, jump into action.”

“Could’ve at least followed through,” he muttered with a poorly concealed smile.

“Still could.”

His cheeks turned red, but he kept his face carefully controlled. Those pesky defenses were up. It would be easy to tear them down, but I’d let him cling to them for now. I’d freaked him out enough last night.

Kissing Tilian was nice, if I was being honest. He was just so adorable and pliable. I was a hundred percent certain he was submissive when he was with someone who knew how to make him bend.

I was all for casual encounters, but I didn’t know if that was his thing. He might be the type to get easily attached. Would I be open to that with him? Yeah, but not right now. A committed relationship was the last thing I needed to add to my plate. They seemed cool and all, but they took work. I could barely manage to keep myself above water.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

I blinked to bring myself out of my head. “Nothing.”

“You had a look.”

“It’s the fluorescents.”

After he snorted a laugh, he grabbed another slice of pizza. “Well, if it’s just a game, maybe don’t start kissing me again.”

Licking my lips, I leveled him with my best smolder. It made him shift on the bed. I wouldn’t tell him that I remembered what his hard dick had felt like against my thigh. That would just be too much for the guy.

“Fine,” I conceded with a dramatic sigh. “You’re a lovely kisser, though.”

“I am?”

“You’re very good at following the lead, so yeah. For me, you’re pretty perfect.”

“Hm.”

He didn’t say anything else as he continued to munch on his pizza. Tilian would likely move into my ‘good friend’ category if we continued like this. He was chill and gave off different vibes than most of my others.

Whereas some people were mood readers or eaters, I was kind of a mood friend. To many, I was seen as a dick who was flaky and bounced around, but it wasn’t that. I just needed certain things at different times. Life wasn’t always bright and cheerful for me. And sometimes, like right now, I needed something that was easy. Not too loud and not too quiet. Just simple existence with someone who gave off that sort of energy.

Tilian was the friend I needed when things were too loud in my head, when I needed someone who could pull me back from the ledge without even realizing he was doing it.

That rebellious little self-sabotager in my head needed to calm the fuck down sometimes.

“Oh, you’re coming with me tomorrow,” I informed him.

He didn’t look spooked for once. I thought he might be getting used to my shit. It was easiest to just go with the flow and I was pretty sure he’d caught onto that.

“Where?” he ventured, trying to appear cool and casual.

“My friends are having a housewarming thing. It’s bound to be a mess and there will be a bunch of football players there.”

“You’re not selling me on it.”

“I don’t have to. I’ll pick you up at two in my dope Audi that got your balls tingling. Imagine how it’ll feel when you’re driving it.”

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