Page 34 of Defend Me

The thing I wouldn’t say out loud was that I couldn’t stand being in that empty apartment by myself for much longer. If there was someone else in the place, it might not feel so dead.

I might not feel so dead.

“Wanna come over?” I asked.

Tilian tensed again. “Why?”

“Is that a serious question? It’s Saturday night and I enjoy your company.”

“I don’t know…”

“Maybe I can entice you with the view and the promise of top-tier entertainment.”

“Let me guess. It’s you.”

I laughed. “It’s Xbox, you weirdo.”

“Oh, cool. Then, yeah, I’ll come over.”

“Sweet. Let me say some goodbyes, then we can head out.”

When I left him on the couch, I glanced at him over my shoulder. He always looked mildly freaked out. I was pretty sure it was just because he existed. I was glad to see that he seemed more comfortable, though. Changing the core parts of his personality wasn’t my goal, but I for sure wanted to open him up a bit.

Chapter 11

Tilian

I was nervous as we left the apartment behind. Once the door closed, things felt very quiet. Brooks strode forward with his hands in his pockets, looking like a man who had no shortage of confidence and who knew what the hell he was doing. He was younger than me, but he definitely had more of a right to the title of ‘adult.’

He turned and smiled at me over his shoulder. “Coming?”

“Yeah.” I scrambled to catch up, cursing myself as usual for being so damn awkward. Even the simplest things weren’t safe from my reign of terror. It would be impressive if I didn’t hate it so much.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course.”

“Hm,” he hummed. “You have these knee jerk responses that you use to deflect. Are you scared you’re gonna be a bother if you’re not in the ideal state at all times?”

Just like the first time I’d officially met Brooks, he was fucking perceiving me and it made me feel simultaneously uncomfortable and drawn to him. How much did he truly see?

I shrugged nonchalantly. “If I divulged all of my secrets this early, you wouldn’t have any reason to stick around. Gotta keep the mystery alive.”

“Okay, Tilian. You’re sly as fuck.”

We both stopped by the driver’s side of his Audi. He regarded me for a long moment. I thought he was going to say something, but he took my hand instead. It made my stomach lurch.

I was leaning into these little touches he kept offering. Hanging on them, even. I knew that they were just simple things to him, gestures that he was comfortable with when it came to his friends. I could readily admit that I was touch-starved and he was giving me bites of something that I was so tempted to devour whole.

Something cool touched my palm. That was when I realized that he wasn’t holding my hand. He was giving me the keys.

Tilian, you desperate idiot.

“Why are you letting me drive again?”

He smiled. “Because I’ve had more beers than you and you looked happy behind the wheel.”

“I probably shouldn’t either, to be honest.”

---