Page 43 of Defend Me

Perfect, perfect, perfect.

I slapped a bandage on the puncture wounds. For shits and giggles, I pulled the tie from my hair and let it be free, even though the curls were definitely a bit of a mess right now. After I changed into a pair of sweats, I threw open my bedroom door and went out to find Tilian.

He was staring out the window, looking a little ethereal with the sunlight streaming in to light up his golden hair. When he turned to me, I licked my lips and leaned back against the island.

He raised a brow and I offered him a light smile, then let it drop when he returned his attention to the window. Even though he was here, the place still felt big and empty.

My nostrils flared as I looked at the empty sink, then the spotless coffee table. I moved to the entryway where my shoes were lined up on the rack.

Perfect, perfect, perfect.

The pain in my thigh throbbed and I unclenched my fist.

I wondered what Tilian liked to eat. While I thought about it, I pulled a jar of pickles from my fridge and fished out the biggest one. When its taste exploded on my tongue, I second-guessed whether I believed in God.

“That’s the most stoner thing I’ve ever seen,” he laughed as he joined me.

“This is the most stoner thing? I had a friend who climbed a tree one time because he wanted to know how owls felt up there.”

“What was the verdict?”

“He said they’re pompous assholes who look down on the world.”

“Makes sense,” he said with a laugh.

I held a pickle out to him and he immediately took it, so apparently, I wasn’t the only weird one here. As it passed his lips, my mind went to dirty, dirty places. When he met my eyes, I wondered if he could tell.

Not for the first time since coming back from New York, I considered finding someone to sleep with. It just didn’t sound appealing every time I thought about it. Looking into those blue eyes, though, made me wonder how lovely he’d look in my bed, with his light hair contrasting the black sheets.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.

“Trying to decide what kind of boyfriend you need.”

“You’re still on that?”

“I’m not a quitter. Don’t tell me there’s nobody you’re interested in. You have all of Seattle to choose from.”

He leaned more of his weight on the counter and stared at me. “Nah.”

“Nobody?”

“Not anyone who’d be interested in me. It’s not like Linc would choose someone like me.”

My brow raised. “Is that who you’d go for?”

“No, it was just an example. Getting rejected isn’t on my list of fun things to do with my life.”

“Sometimes, you have to shoot your shot. Never know until you try.”

“Yeah, maybe, but never finding out is better than getting hurt.”

“Getting hurt is an unavoidable part of life. You can let it catch you by surprise or grab it by the throat and take control. The law of probability would suggest things will go your way at least some of the time.”

He looked down at the counter with the ghost of a smile on his face. “I’m the one who likes being grabbed by the throat, remember?”

I was pretty sure this man was trying to seduce me without even knowing it. It was time for some emotional walls to be built.

Chapter 14

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