Page 79 of Defend Me

“I’m trying to help,” he insisted.

I met his eyes and felt my anger rise with blazing intensity. “I don’t need help! I’m the one who helps. I’ve done all these things for you, but you can’t let me be alone for a few fucking days?”

“Uh, what have you done?”

“Go start your fucking car.”

“My car…”

“It works now.”

His mouth fell open. “How… what?”

“Doesn’t matter. I should’ve just left you the fuck alone. I don’t want to be your friend.”

“I’m so goddamn confused,” he groaned.

“I said I don’t want to be your friend. Get the fuck out of my place.”

“Dude, fuck off with that shit. What is your deal?”

“My deal?” I scoffed. “I’m fine. I’m on my shit. Everything is in perfect order. Fuckingperfect.”

My lips started to tremble, so I rolled them inward. He probably noticed anyway, but whatever.

“Get out of my room,” I said. “I don’t want to see you.”

“Hm. Pretty sure that’s not true. You put in all this effort. We went to a movie and hung out over the weekend. Don’t try to convince me you don’t want to be friends.”

“Moments of weakness,” I replied coolly. “I have enough friends. Really, it was more about the game, figuring out if I could make you crack. It wasn’t very hard.”

His eyes narrowed. “And what about Tilian? Is he part of this game?”

I shrugged, which made anger twist his expression.

“Were you just gonna lead him on? Fuck him, then ditch him?”

“I wouldn’t fuck Tilian.”

“That’s believable.”

“Tilian would fall for me in point-two seconds. I don’t want the complication.”

“Then make that fucking clear to him. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s put in more of his time with you than he has anyone else. That’s not a small thing for him.”

I crossed my arms and looked past him. “What either of us does is none of your business. Even if we did fuck, it’snone of your business. It’s a pastime and a relief from life. Sex is a universal language. I don’t see any reason to deny myself something humans naturally crave, so if I want to use it to quiet my head, that’s what I’ll do.”

“Do it somewhere else.”

“Unless you’re going to be useful and throw me onto that bed, I suggest you leave.”

Shaking his head, he stepped backward toward the door and threw his arms wide. “Congratulations, Brooks. You won the game. I hope it feels really good when you go to sleep and wake up alone every day.”

“Fuck you.”

“Yeah, well, fuck you too.”

When the front door slammed closed, I dropped to my knees and clutched my head.

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