Page 83 of Defend Me

“I consume you,” I repeated, not able to believe I’d heard him correctly.

He moved his hand around to my throat. I lifted my chin, inviting, no, begging him to take control of me like he had in the arcade. I wanted him to command me. He could crush me underneath his boot if he wanted to and I’d fucking thank him.

“I tried not to do something because of you,” he went on, pausing between kisses as he spoke. “I tried… But it doesn’t matter.”

“What happened?”

“I didn’t want to,” he breathed against my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Didn’t want to what?”

He said a single word, but I didn’t process it. He snagged my lower lip with his teeth and tugged it outward, then released it. “It’s over and I feel like shit and I don’t want to feel anymore.”

His fingers squeezed exactly how I wanted them to. I pushed my hands underneath his shirt and felt another flood of arousal with his abs beneath my touch. He was lean, not sporting some crazy fucking six pack, and I loved the slight definition of every part of him.

When he yanked me forward, I was reminded that he was strong. If he wanted to, he could take me easily, even if I tried to fight him. The idea itself wasn’t my thing, but the fact that hecouldmade my dick strain against my jeans.

I wanted to ask him about the things he’d said and what he’d done that made him react this way, but he didn’t want to feel it. He wanted to escape, so for this moment, I’d give him that. I wanted to take away his pain in whatever way he’d let me. If I didn’t, he’d very likely go to someone else, some stranger. I didn’t trust them with him, fragile or not.

Right now, he was with me and he was safe, until he inevitably rebuilt that wall and walked away from me again.

“I want to see you,” I said.

He released my throat only long enough to remove his shirt, then mine. I immediately felt self-conscious. Who wouldn’t when they stood in front of this?

There was a small rose tattoo on his pelvic bone and I ran my fingers over it slowly.

“You’re perfect.”

His nostrils flared. “Don’t say that.”

“But you-”

He cut off my air, then bit down on my lip hard. “Don’t.”

I nodded quickly. He maintained the pressure as he kissed me again. The deprivation of my breath made panic flare inside of me while simultaneously making me want him more. I trusted him, which made me continue to kiss him. His lips moved ravenously, devouring me. I pushed my tongue into his mouth and my fingers gripped his side tightly as I shivered.

When he let me draw in breath, I barely stopped. I wanted him. I needed him. Every fucked up, damaged, toxic, red flag bearing part of him.

“I want you,” I whimpered against his mouth.

“Are you sure?”

If I wasn’t already, the throaty reverberation of his voice would’ve gotten me there. I just nodded.

“Mm.” He trailed his thumb down the column of my throat. “Get on your knees for me and show me exactly what you want.”

I dropped to the floor without hesitation. He unbuttoned his pants, then brushed the hair away from my face. The way he stared down at me with his lips parted made heat build low in my stomach.

Leaning forward, I pressed a kiss to his pelvic bone. His breath stuttered as he continued to run his fingers through my hair gently. I wanted more than that, so I trailed my tongue just above his waistband on my way to the other side. When I kissed the same spot there, I gripped his thighs to push him back a few inches to the wall.

After I had his breaths coming quicker from the anticipation, I worked his pants down enough to free his dick. It had been a while, but I was pretty sure that even if it hadn’t, I would’ve been enraptured by it. It glistened at the tip with precum that I was dying to taste.

“Baby,” he purred. “The way you’re looking at my dick is so fucking hot, but if you don’t do something with it, I might just shove it down your throat.”

And what did I do? Absolutely nothing but stare up at him with expectant eyes. What crept into his expression was deliciously depraved, both a threat and a promise. His lips curled upward and his head cocked.

“Fuck, you just want to be used, don’t you, Tilian?”

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