Page 92 of Defend Me

West pointed his fork at me. “Who’s the lucky gal? Or lad? That Tilian guy?”

I stared at the utensil with my nose wrinkled. He’d just eaten a chocolate chip cookie and now he was digging into his pot pie. There should be laws against this kind of behavior. We could name them after him.

“It’s nobody. I’m not going for it.”

“That’s stupid. Why not?”

“Why aren’t you?”

A blank expression met my question. Either he really was clueless or he was in denial. It could be both somehow.

For once, I didn’t want to think about his problems or anyone else’s. I was hung up on my own.

I shouldn’t seek him out again, but something about Tilian’s nature drew me in. I wanted to feel the way I had on Saturday night. Maybe if I was with him, my head wouldn’t get fucked up again.

Brooks:You going to the party this weekend?

Read. Dots. Disappear. Dots.

I was starting to understand that anxiety Tilian felt every day. It was sort of ironic that he was the one causing it.

Tilian:Not sure.

Brooks:We can carpool.

Tilian:I’ll let you know.

I dropped the phone on the table and flinched at how loud it was. Everyone at the table looked at me with concern, which I resented.

“So, what have you guys been up to?” I asked to dispel the awkwardness. “You’ve been aloof.”

“I’ve been busy,” Sen replied. “Work and my welding program are kicking my ass.”

“I bet. As long as it pays off, right?”

“It will,” Kai chimed in. “He’ll be the greatest badass that ever badassed.” He pointed his fork at me. “It’s you who’s beenaloof. AKA, missing in action. AKA, living in the shadows like a wight.”

I grinned and ran my tongue over the tip of my canine. “Everybody loves a shadow daddy.”

Kai grunted, but Sen laughed. “Oh, is there someone who’s calling you daddy?”

“Nah. That’s not my thing. Unless specifically requested, of course.”

“Maybe it’s because you have daddy issues,” Kai noted, obviously still in a mood.

“That’s possible. Although, my problems are more aligned with my mom, which is arguably worse.”

“Please tell me you’re just gonna declare your love for him soon,” Sen said with a sigh.

I recoiled. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You know.”

Kai perched his chin on his fist and looked at me. “Sen’s nosey. Sorry, not sorry. Now I’m curious too.”

“Regrettably, I am a lone wolf and am incapable of love.”

“You’re impossible,” Sen groaned. “Bet Tilian has a fat dick.”

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