Page 55 of Amazing Grace

‘Mark. I would appreciate it if you would just shut your mouth for one minute. It gives me such pleasure to tell you that I wouldn’t want to be with you again if you were the last man on earth. You are arrogant, you are ignorant and you are inconsiderate. You think only of yourself, your own fulfilment and your own happiness.’

‘Oh, and I suppose this is only because you’ve got yourself a new shag now?’ he responded. ‘Bloody fan-fucking-tastic Virtuous Vinnie waves his willy around and you think he’s Mr Fucking Wonderful.’

‘Do you know what, Mark? Yes, Vinnie has waved his willy around, and I have to say it’s bigger and more beautiful than yours will ever be and he knows how to use it a whole lot better than you ever used yours! He’s kind, he’s considerate, he’s gorgeous and he’s bloody perfect for me. And he’s nicer to our son than you’ve ever been. And you’re his father! You have never put your family before yourself.Youare the only person that matters in your life. You should be ashamed of yourself.’

Mark turned red with fury and went to speak.

‘Do not speak right now!’ she bellowed at him. Grace didn’t know where this strength of purpose had come from but she did know that this was the very last time her ex was ever going to treat her this way.

‘So, yes, Vinnie is a hundred times the man that you have ever been or ever will be. He treats me with kindness and respect, something that you don’t appear to have for anyone, not even your own family. And I suggest that if you ever want people to like you, go look those words up in a dictionary. And for the record, I would rather be alone than be with you. Because being alone is better than being in a relationship where you are lonely and disrespected. Being alone is better than being lied to and cheated on. And you’re still doing it now to Lorraine. I am worth far more than you, Mark. It’s just taken me a very long time to work that out. But now I have, I have never been more serious about anything in my life. Now go and fuck yourself!’

And with that, she picked up her coat, strode over to Ruth who hugged her so tightly she thought she might have cracked a rib, and walked out the door, to the applause of the bar staff.

27

There had been no calls or texts from Mark since she’d left him in the pub the previous night. She knew he’d be furious but she was sure he was giving her the silent treatment on purpose in order to keep her on tenterhooks so that she’d be worrying about what he was planning. It seemed like none of the men in her life were speaking to her.

In a total state of daydreaming, she got Archie ready for school and took the short walk hand in hand with this adorable child. She knew that one day soon would be the last day that he would want to hold her hand and so took every opportunity to do so now. His chubby little hand fitted into hers perfectly, although she noticed how big it was getting. Soon, he’d be taller than her and she dreaded the day when he wouldn’t fit on her lap any more. When they got to school, he did what he always did and squeezed her hand three times, one for ‘I’, one for ‘love’ and one for ‘you’. This way he didn’t have to say it out loud while his mates were around. She squeezed his back four times, the extra squeeze meaning ‘I love you too.’ As he walked off, she called him back. When he got back to her, she hugged him tight and kissed him. ‘Mum!You’re embarrassing me!’

‘Yeah, but I’m your mum and that’s my job!’ She laughed as he rolled his eyes at her, but he gave her a great big smile so she knew she was forgiven already.

As she wasn’t working that day, she decided to throw a joint of beef in the slow cooker and go and blow away the cobwebs by taking Becks for a walk. It would give her some time to think, which, after the past week, she sorely needed. She drove to the forest and walked and walked. Becks was in his element but she couldn’t help but remember the lovely walks she’d had here with Vinnie, holding hands and getting to know each other, and she realised how much she missed him.

Before she knew it, it was lunchtime and they’d been walking for over three hours, but it had been good for her to be in the countryside and have some space to think. She wondered whether she’d dreamt everything that had happened last night. Whether she really had stood up to Mark once and for all.

Whether she’d dreamt it or not, she felt stronger than she’d felt for as long as she could remember and she had hope in her heart. Hope and positivity that her future was going to be rosy and that everything was going to be OK. Normally she felt a constant worry that Archie was never going to grow up a well-adjusted child, and that felt like such a responsibility on her shoulders, but today she felt like even that was sorted. She felt calm and peaceful. She also felt loved. She wasn’t sure what the situation was with Vinnie and while that made her feel sad, she knew it was something that she’d get over. It wouldn’t destroy her.

She’d been at low points in her life; when she lost her mum, she knew that a huge part of her heart had been broken and that although it would never heal, she would eventually move forward and get used to the fact that, much as she wanted her to be, her mum wasn’t around and she just had to suck that up and get on with her life. Another really low point was when she and Mark split up, but again, she knew at the time that she would get over it eventually, and she had. She’d got used to a new life without a partner and it wasn’t so bad. Love came from lots of different sources, and she had love in abundance from her friends and family. Maybe she didn’t need that romantic love to make her complete. She just needed to be comfortable in her own skin, so that she could be happy with her life. It was better to be happy and alone than to be in a relationship and be lonely. And it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

The aroma of the beef cooking hit her as soon as she walked through the front door and made her feel hungry for the first time that day. She peeled some potatoes so that they could have hot buttery mash and got some veg ready to boil in the evening.

After making herself a ham and cucumber sandwich, she sat with her feet up and her iPad on her lap, thinking that whatever will be will be. She had a feeling that however much she stressed about things, it wasn’t going to change the situation. She flicked through her Facebook updates and friends’ posts and before she knew it, she was looking at Vinnie’s profile pic. He wasn’t one for using social media, even though he had profiles set up. She gazed into his eyes and hoped in her heart that they could at least be friends, if nothing else. She wasn’t going to let Mark destroy the last few months totally.

Whiling away her afternoon on the internet meant that it was soon time to pick up Archie from school. While she was waiting in the playground and chatting to some of the other parents, Archie’s class came out and his teacher looked at her a bit strangely. When all the class had been dispersed to their parents, there was still no sign of her son. She went over to his teacher and asked where Archie was.

‘Have you forgotten that he was at the dentist?’ she asked. ‘His dad picked him up at two o’clock.’

Grace’s heart sank to her boots. ‘No – his dad never takes him to the dentist. His dad doesn’t even know where his dentist is. And his dad is always at work.’ She felt unease deep down in her stomach and knew that Mark had collected Archie to wind her up. He was taking revenge on her for humiliating him in the way that he knew would hit her hardest.

She’d left her phone at home so ran all the way back on trembling legs and grabbed it from the hall table. She purposely never took her phone to school, so that she and Archie could concentrate on chatting about his day while they walked home. These were their few special moments of the day. She rang Mark’s number but it rang out and then went to voicemail. She left a message asking him to call her straight away. She rang Mark’s school and asked to be put through to him, only to be told by the receptionist that he’d phoned in sick that morning. Despite her deep breaths, she was now starting to panic.

There was one other person that she needed by her side to help her right now. Vinnie’s phone also went to voicemail. She left a message blurting out what had happened in short sharp phrases. ‘Archie’s gone. Rang Mark. No answer. I don’t know where they are. I’m scared. Think I might need the police!’

Having said the words made it sound so real, and she started to fall apart. She really didn’t know what to do. Her breathing became erratic and panic was really starting to set in. When the phone rang, she grabbed it, seeing Vinnie’s name flash up on the display.

‘I’m on my way back from Hull. I came back early and I’m nearly home. I can be there in less than fifteen minutes,’ he replied. ‘Stay by the phone in case he rings. Don’t ring the police yet as they won’t be far away. He’s just trying to frighten you. I’m coming, Grace!’

Two minutes later, the house phone rang and she snatched it up. ‘Mark?’

‘No, darling, it’s me,’ said Ruth. ‘Vinnie just rang and told me to keep you on the landline till he got there.’

‘Oh, Ruth,’ Grace said as she fell to her knees, breaking down in floods of tears. ‘He’s just taken him to get back at me. I can’t believe he could do this to me.’

Ruth tried to keep her as calm as possible and got her to think about all the places that they could have gone.

‘I have to go, Ruth, Vinnie’s arrived.’ She flung the phone down and ran out to the car and he quickly swept her up in his arms, where she clung on for dear life. He stroked her hair and wiped the tears from her eyes as she wailed, ‘How can he do this to me? How could he do this to his son?’

‘Come on, let’s go inside and get a drink and we’ll think about our plan of action. Mark might be an arse, but he is Archie’s father and surely Archie will be safe with him. They can’t be too far away as they’ve not been gone long. We just need to find them.’ Her hands shook as she spooned coffee into a mug, spilling most of it on the work surface, and poured the hot water. She realised that Vinnie wanted to keep her busy to try to calm her down a little, but she was utterly distraught, although seeing Vinnie being so calm and supportive, she felt her heart swell with gratitude, and she couldn’t bear the gap between them any more.

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