Page 18 of The Bookshop at the Cornish Cove

‘Ah, it’s nothing. Don’t worry.’

‘It clearly is something. I’m a good listener, Dennis, and sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved.’

A quick lift of his eyebrows showed me that he was dubious about that statement.

‘Up to you. No skin off my nose if you don’t want to tell me. I know we don’t always see eye to eye on stuff, but maybe you just need a friend right now. Someone who can listen to you, not judge you, and let you talk.’

His shoulders were rising and falling with the deep breaths he was taking. It clearly wasn’t easy for him to confide in someone.

‘Years of working all the hours God sends, at full pelt, took its toll on me. I made a bad decision and it cost someone a lot of money.’

I rubbed his back, not really knowing if it was the right thing to do but he looked like he needed comforting.

‘Shit happens, Dennis. It’s not the end of the world.’

‘It was the end of someone’s world.’ He turned to me with a tear in his eye.

‘Money isn’t everything.’

‘It is to some people. You can’t just go through life without making it safe and secure for yourself. You need money to do that. I know that more than anyone.’

Wondering how this random statement was related, I tipped my head to one side, and waited until he felt he could continue.

‘I gave someone some bad advice and they lost everything they had. I told them they should take a risk on something, with some of their investments.’

‘Well, surely that’s not so bad?’

‘No, but I hadn’t done my due diligence and what I didn’t know was that they were in a lot of trouble financially and they risked not justsomeof what they had, buteverything.’

‘Ah.’

‘Ah, indeed. He lost his business. His wife walked out on him. His children won’t speak to him and he has literally nothing. He’s now had to move back in with his parents while he tries to sort his life out. He’s fifty-seven years old and, thanks to me, hasn’t got a penny to his name.’

‘That wasn’t your fault though. Surely you can’t blame yourself.’

‘But I do. If I’d known the extent of his difficulties, I would have advised against risking anything let alone everything. That’s kind of my job. I should have known.’

‘But if he didn’t tell you, how could it have been your fault?’

‘Well, they said that at work too, but it hurts, Nance.’ His voice caught and I put my hand on top of his, which was resting on his knees. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that he’d abbreviated my name to something I’d never liked as a child but when he said it, it sounded… well, it kind of sounded good.

He smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his eyes and then he looked away out to the horizon. He looked like a crestfallen little boy and my heart reached out to him. Gone was the brash, self-assured man who was normally brimming with confidence, telling me what I should do to turn my business around. And there before me was a man who was vulnerable and full of self-loathing. A very unfamiliar Dennis.

I looked to see what he was fixated on and saw a boat bobbing on the horizon.

‘I should have asked more questions. I should have shown more interest and not just seen the pound signs flashing. I stood to make a big commission from him and for the company I work for. I was about to be made a partner. That was important to me.’

‘And can that not still happen? Surely if you’re good at your job then this won’t stop you.’

‘Not sure to be honest. They gave me some time out for us both to do some thinking. About whether they want to still make me a partner after all of this. And I’m wondering whether I want them to. I don’t know what I want any more. And that’s why I’m here, Nance. Bet you wished you’d never asked now.’

He glanced across at me, looked deep into my eyes and bit his lip. I knew this was not the time or place to even think this, but when he did that, it did something very strange to my nether regions and all I could think about was how his lips would feel on mine. Or how they’d taste. I blushed at how inappropriate I was being.

We both looked out to sea and at the little dot in the distance.

Eventually he broke the silence.

‘I wonder who is on that. Whenever I see a boat, I wonder where they’ve been and where they are heading to. It’s like a metaphor for my life right now.’

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