Page 19 of The Bookshop at the Cornish Cove

It’s good to talk when you have something on your mind. I knew from working with children that keeping stuff inside didn’thelp anyone. It was an honour that he’d confided in me, but I felt quite responsible that whatever I said next should be significant and meaningful, yet I couldn’t think of anything intelligent to say.

‘Everything happens for a reason, we just don’t always know what it is. Maybe it’ll all work out well in the end for him.’

This was a very different Dennis to the one I normally saw. This was a sweet, caring man who, I felt, I could really get to like. Someone I wanted to know more about. He was clearly feeling guilty for something that was not his fault, but I don’t think it would matter what anyone said to him in that moment, he had to work it all out for himself.

He sat upright, sniffed, and wiped his nose on the back of his hand before standing abruptly, reaching out for my hand. I looked up and took his, until I was standing too.

‘Is it helping to be here?’ I asked. ‘Giving you some perspective? Helping you to decide what you want?’

He looked deep into my eyes, as if he could see into my very soul. His gaze flickered to my lips and back, and he stepped closer, narrowing the gap between us. I held my breath, knowing that I wanted him to kiss me more than I had wanted anything before.

Suddenly, he took a step back.

‘You have no idea, Nance.’

He grinned that cheeky grin and it was like a switch had flicked inside him. At the same time, my tummy did that funny little skip thing again.

‘Come on. Let’s go and find some more beach to rescue. At least I can do something practical here that will help. And you never know, we might find a tree or two to hug. It won’t earn you any money, eh? But hey ho! We get to save the planet. Yay!’ He winked at me as he walked past, bent down, and grabbed aplastic water bottle from behind a rock, cockily throwing it up into the air and, to my annoyance, catching it in his rubbish bag.

Just like that, the other Dennis was back. The one that wound me up, irritated the hell out of me and the one that for some unknown reason was getting me all hot under the collar.

The sound of a text arriving on Dennis’s phone interrupted our companionable silence as we picked up bits of plastic from the beach. Blood drained from his face.

‘I’m sorry, Nancy, but I have to go.’ He hurried back over to where he had locked his stuff, retrieved it and swapped his shoes over.

‘Is everything OK, Dennis?’ His behaviour was bizarre.

‘Tickety-fucking-boo, Nancy.’ Without even saying goodbye, he practically ran away from the beach.

What an odd man he was.

12

There was no word from Dennis the next day. We hadn’t made plans but I suppose I must have been expecting him. I’d felt like we’d really connected the day before. His barriers definitely seemed to be lowering and it felt like where he normally tolerated me, that he’d trusted in me; opened up to me and shared his personal problems, like I was sharing my business issues with him.

It had been a quiet day in the shop and I felt a little discombobulated all day and couldn’t get him off my mind and how he’d gone as white as a sheet when he received the text. I was just cashing up when the bell went to signify I had company and I turned to the door.

‘Dennis.’ I was surprised to see him. His eyes were red and he looked like he’d been up all night. ‘Is everything OK?’

‘The text I had last night was to say that the man I was telling you about, Steve, was in hospital after he’d attempted to take his own life.’

My heart leapt into my stomach.

‘Oh, Dennis. I’m so sorry.’ I flew across the room and put my arm around his shoulders and pulled him towards me.

‘He’s not in danger any more but to think that something I did caused the ripple effect for this to happen is really getting to me.’

‘Come and sit down.’ I led him over to the bay window where we sat. After a while of him staring out to sea, I felt like it was OK to interrupt his thoughts.

‘It wasn’t your fault.’

He looked up. ‘It wasn’t? It sure feels like it.’

‘He’s a grown man, Dennis. You gave him information and he took that and did what he chose to do with it.Youare not responsible for any of his actions.’

‘Others have said the same but it all just feels quite raw at the moment. What a shocker it was. Honestly, Nancy, if he’d died, I don’t know what I’d have done.’

‘He didn’t though, did he, Dennis? He was clearly desperate and that’s really sad, but now hopefully he’ll get the help he needs. Look at me.’ I reached across and put my fingers under his chin guiding his face upwards until his eyes met mine. ‘It’s. Not. Your. Fault. OK?’

---