A helpless smile crawls over my face. I sniffle knowing a single drop of water has run down my cheek. “My heart's big enough to do both.”
He fixates on me, noticing how upset I am. I wish I could hide it better but everything he says is true, and all of it is horrific. I can't meet his stare; I look at my feet under the table.
His chair scrapes, as if he's about to stand. My pulse speeds up as I think about him circling the table to comfort me, to curl me in his solid arms and hold me. I haven't been held like that since I was small. Suddenly I'm desperate for it, even from him.
Dominic doesn't rise to his feet. He balls his hands on the table, inching them towards me. He could reach if he stretched even a little. He doesn't. “Your heart can't help you get home,” he whispers solemnly.
A surprised laugh erupts from me. Wiping my eyes, I smile at him with all my teeth showing. “You're right. I'll need my brain if I want to get back there.”Home.Hearing the word gives me new strength.
His hands remain on the table. I'm close enough to them to see that, for as rough as he acts, his skin looks smooth. Like polished stone. Before I think it over, curiosity controls me. I place my fingertips on the back of his left hand.
Static weaves through my skin. Dominic sucks in a wild breath, wrenching away from me. He's wide-eyed, his nostrils flared, his lips twisting into a silent gasp. “What the hell are you trying to do?”
I shake my head over and over until I'm disoriented. “Sorry, I just—wanted to see how your hands felt.” Admitting it makes my skin boil. I bite my lip, digging my nails into my palms. Fuck, that was weird.I'mweird. What was I thinking?
Wrapping his chiseled arms over his chest, he keeps watching me. “Let's get back to work.”
“Yes, okay. Right.” Taking a deep breath, I sigh. “I'm not a hacker like my dad. But you went to school for programming, right?”
“I can't do what Joseph did. Not even close.”
“Well, what the hell did Silas do before he roped my dad in? You said your grandfather started the company, no wayhewas a hacker.”
“No. He was in the Korean war, a sergeant.” He pauses, gathering his thoughts. “Things were... different then. Old school handshake deals made over whiskey in a bar, or at private events.”
Private events?I scan my brain, digging through all the books I've inhaled over the years. “You guys have a ballroom here,” I say, my voice growing more excited. “Your mom has forced me to parade around in it before with your dad's co-workers. Why don't we host a party, ahugeevent, like your grandfather would have?”
He frowns to his full capacity. “There's a reason the company didn't transform from middling to an empire until Joseph. Tech sabotage is powerful. A tray of champagne glasses and polite conversation won't grow Bradley Banks.”
“We don't have to escalate the company's growth! Just stall its decline.” I nod to myself, consumed by the idea. “It could work. People meeting, talking, drinking until they agree to bring their business into your dad's hands.” I jump to my feet, hurrying over to a shelf of books. I don't check to see if he follows me. I'm possessed by hope...
by the memory of a perfect cabin.
Myhome.
“Like this,” I say, yanking down a pine-green book. I flip through it as the scent of paper fills my nose. Inside are drawings of women in grand dresses, men half-bowing in dark suits. “It can be as simple as this, Dominic. It could...”
My eyes flick upwards. He's standing over me between the rows of shelves containing thousands of novels. This place is always quiet but right now it's bottom-of-a-lake deafening.
There's something in his eyes that takes me a moment to place. I haven't spent much time around guys my own age, but I'm not naïve. I never needed someone to explain what hormones are, or what sex is. I had a hazy idea when I was twelve. The books in this room filled in the details. Beyond that, my own body was a wonderful teacher. I'm acquainted with the demanding throb between my thighs.
I feel it now as Dominic watches me.
He looks me up and down, reminding me of the way he stared as we hovered by his car yesterday. That single moment feels so long ago. “When I first met you, you were so resistant to the idea of learning about things like this. And now, you've managed to sit down and figure out a solution before I could,” he says.
The glow in his eyes is admiration. Herespectsthat I've spent years learning whatever I could, all because of his initial advice. I'm pulled in by a peek at the boy that I remember. The enthusiasm in his face mirrors what he had when he was a teen. Before time and suffering and who knows what else transformed him into the man in front of me.
It's the first time he's really spoken about our past. As I step closer, my hair brushes my lower back. It sparks a thought. “Dominic,” I whisper. “Do you remember saving me?”
He breathes faster. His obsidian pupils shoot to my braid, then back to me. Right then, my soul lightens. I'm sure he hasn't forgotten but I want him tosayit. It would be easy to answer me, so what's holding him back?
“Something's happened to you,” I say, reaching up to touch his jaw. Tension forms at the corners of his eyes. My hand freezes in midair—I'm anxious to touch him, worried it will shatter the moment. I think of myself as wild but it's Dominic who's acting like an animal ready to bolt. “You don't have to tell me everything, but please, I need to know.”
He opens his mouth; I think he's going to answer my questions, remove this false but terrifying mask he's been wearing. He cups my shoulders, his grip as present as gravity.
Then he kisses me.
I always dreamed my first would be with Dominic. It took me sometime after he left to recognize my young, slowly growing feelings for him were more than friendship. He became a fantasy to me. More than once I dreamed about him rescuing me again, only this time, he was a full-grown man and not a skinny child.