Page 39 of Where We Began


- Chapter 16 -

Dominic

My own threat hangsheavy on my heart long after I part ways with Laiken.

Our kiss unlocked something chained inside of me. It's more than an animal, more than a feeling. There's no one alive that understands the sacrifices I've made. Inside of me is a damn black hole. The part of every person that is pure, that goes cockeyed when they think about happiness? It's missing from me. For the past year, I was sure it never existed in the first place.

She changed all of that.

When we kissed, the nostalgic time we'd spent together came rushing back. I'm not crazy enough to think that anything she can do to me would heal the gaping wound in my psyche. She can't make me whole. But I don't need Laiken to be my salvation. I can settle for her being my drug - something to neutralize the bitter acid swimming in my veins.

Even if it was brief, she brought out a sensation that I thought was beyond me. Kissing her was a mistake. I know that. But it's a mistake I plan to make again.

I wasn't kidding when I told her that the first whiff of desire I catch on her, I'm going to pounce. Maybe I'm just fucked up, but the idea of chasing her is exciting. I can't wait to do it.

Part of my plan involves moving forward with the one she concocted. Except every time I try to get a hold of my father, it turns out he's not around. This isn't strange. When I was young he was rarely home as well.

I've never known him as anything less than a workaholic. Whatbothersme is that he isn't telling me what he's doing to try and patch the leak left behind by Joseph. I'm left in the dark to knock on his door, call his phone, and pray that I won't have to run Laiken's idea past my mother.

My father and her are two sides of the same coin. Neither has ever embraced me the way families in feel-good movies do. My father keeps his disgust barely hidden beneath a veneer of strained patience. He's capable of being cordial with me. Annie isn't.

She wears her emotions for me on her well-tailored sleeves. She's never said a good word about me. I've always been a disappointment to her. More than once, I've caught her looking through me, seeing a life in which I don't exist.

Those moments are the only time she graces me with a smile.

That's why I need to prove myself.

I need to show her and the world that my existencematters.

Why the fuck isn't my father answering his phone?I wonder furiously. My car roars out of the driveway. In the rearview mirror I glimpse the estate behind me. It didn't feel like home when I first left it years ago. I was never homesick for it. When I returned, it didn't feel anymore welcoming.

All Laiken wants is to go home,I think as I pull through the wave shaped gates. I wonder what that feels like. Going home.

Thinking about her brings up the delicious memory of our single kiss in the library. I shudder, slamming my foot on the gas pedal and ripping down the long road that leads to the highway. My estate is in a very private location. I'm not sure if it was my father's choice to stay here after my grandpa died, or if it was just easier to remain in the one place he's always known. He can definitely afford to move anywhere he wants.

As I speed down the pavement, the oak trees blur along my peripheral vision. The green reminds me of the highlights in Laiken's eyes. It's shameful, but I especially like how bright the colors stand out when she's staring up at me with uncertainty. It's thrilling to make someone as confident as her breath faster in my presence.

I didn't used to be like this. The boy I was before I went off to boarding school is less than a memory. He's an imaginary figure in a pretend world that I have no idea how to get back to. I wonder if Laiken does.

I take the exit that brings me close to my father's flagship bank downtown. Most of the work is done here - the real, on-paper-number-crunching-bottom-dollar stuff. No one else knows what Joseph was doing with my father's blessing. The inner workings of that side of our company would destroy us if they got out.

I have to appreciate Joseph's self-preservation, honestly. He knows he can't go to the police. Not unless he wants to end up in a jail cell, and if he's going to be trapped like that, he's smart enough to know that he's better off working under our thumb.

It wasn't enough to keep them from running a second time, though.

I'm so furious with myself. I feel like an idiot, knowing that he played me.Played all of us,I remind myself, to try and soothe my shame. It doesn't work.

I park my car in the covered lot reserved for my father and his most important colleagues. Slamming the door, I lock it and rush to the elevator. I'm hurrying, and it's about more than getting to my father so I can convince him to host a party. No, I feel the string that links back to that damn woman. I'm longing for her like an addict, furious that I'm here and not at her side. The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can get back to her. I want to spend every second I can breaking her down.

I'm consumed with the idea of making her mine.

I know I can't have her properly. A woman like her is too wild to be content staying trapped in a mansion forever, even if it's with me. I don't want to think about it, but I know that eventually, her and I will have to part ways. Whether that's before or after I find her father remains to be seen.

“Mr. Bradley,” the receptionist says when I exit the elevator. She jumps to her feet behind the crescent shaped white desk, glancing at my father's office door. “He just came back from a meeting, he doesn't want to be disturbed. Can I leave him a message for you or—”