Page 47 of Her Double Desire

Both of us turn, staring at Jared where he's perched on the landing. He's wearing gray, loose shorts and a sleeveless black top. I've never seen him so casual—he must have heard our voices and woken up, coming to check on us.

Shawn releases me, his focus solely on the other man. “Of course you are. You have ever since what happened with Luna.”

Jared's eyes soften. “I know that wasn't your fault, Shawn.”

“And yet you still blame me! It comes out in the way you look at me, the way you speak to me! I'm not stupid, Jared. You've always had this high and mighty attitude around you.”

“No, that's not it.”

“You think it's my fault that Oliver had his heart broken. He forgives me, you know.”

“Shawn...”

“He knows it's not my fault she started cheating on him! She wasn't sleeping withme!”

I'm frozen where I stand, my eyes the only movement as I glance between them both. Whatever is going on, it's been cooking for some time.

“I'm not judging you for Luna,” Jared says earnestly. “Maybe at one point I was pissed about what happened, and it was easy to think you had something to do with it, but I wasn't treating you badly over that stuff.”

He curls his upper lip. “So you're going to pretend we've been buddy-buddy, then?”

“No, just—shut up and let me talk. The reason you got under my skin so easily was because you were always so flippant about everyone's feelings.”

“Then we're back to you thinking I fucked over Oliver.”

“No! I'm talking about your deeper feelings!” Jared slaps a hand against his own chest, drumming it. “I hated how you drifted from partner to partner, never having any real connection.” He hesitates, then he looks right at me. “When I saw you and Veronica together that first night... it scared me. I kept thinking about you hurting her, tossing her aside. I felt so possessive. I was ready to protect her.”

“Protect her from me?” he whispers.

Shawn leans on the railing, as if he needs it to stand. There's unbridled sadness in his half-closed eyes. I can't keep myself still—it hurts too much to see him like this. Pressing my hand to his forearm, I squeeze. “It's okay,” I say gingerly. “Everything is fine, Shawn.”

He flips his attention solely to me. “It is now, yes.”

“You were always cold and distant,” Jared says. “Until last night. The moment it clicked with you that Veronica was in love with us. Really in love.”

Shawn lifts his eyes towards Jared. “Oliver says she's ours. He won't get in the way, but we still have to pay back her debt.”

I find my voice again. “I can't let you guys do that.”

Fingers brush my cheek; Jared stands beside me on the step, one arm curling around my shoulders. “Haven't you learned by now that you can't stop us from doing what we want?”

Another hand wraps in one of mine. Shawn grips it tight, crowding me on the stairs. “That's right, little lamb. You thought we were insistent before? By opening your heart to us, you've given us full access to you.”

He kisses me so lightly my lips come alive with static. His tongue brushes my top teeth, then his mouth tightens, dominating our kiss. Shawn pulls away so I can catch a breath, but then Jared dives in, turning me towards him for an entirely different brand of kiss.

Neither is better than the other.

Both of them are perfect.

Are you happy?

The question comes out of no where. It's what Sonya asked me on the phone on my first day in Stone House. I'd lied to her then because I hadn't been able to answer with a true yes.

Now I can.

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