Page 58 of Royally Arranged

My mind was assaulted by the memories of what I’d gone through. Reaching down, I touched the spot he had, brushing his fingers as he retreated. “Acute kidney failure. It’s when your kidneys just ... stop working. All at once, with pretty much no warning. I needed a transplant.”

Well. Therehadbeen warning signs. I’d just ignored them the same way everyone else had. The pain had left me bedridden within days. Darla had called me dramatic, asking if this was my new way to get attention. She’d told me it wasn’t working all the way up until I was being rolled into the ambulance.

Thorne reached out to hold my hand. “When, are you okay now?”

I looked at the floor, trying to gather my thoughts. I didn’t want to reveal too much. Telling Thorne was important, but he didn’t need to know everything. If he did, he’d look at me with new eyes. He’d see me as something fragile.

I wasn’t.

I refused to be.

“I’m fine now. It was months ago, the recovery wasn’t even bad.” I put on a brave smile, but his grimace didn’t budge. “Shh. Don’t worry. I’m really,reallyokay.”

In spite of dancing around the details, I’d failed to keep his eyes from changing. Hawthorne watched me with his smile a distant dream, his pupils wide, absorbing all that I was so he could process it anew.

Taking him by the hands, I tugged him toward the bed. He came with me, stepping around my dress as I climbed out of it. “Thorne,” I said, kneeling on the mattress. He stood over me, my face level with his stomach. “All you should be thinking about right now is this moment.” Linking my hand with his, I crossed our fingers; our wedding rings ground together. “I’m here. I’m healthy.”I’m alive.

The wax-paper stare went away. He blinked, focusing on our hands and the metal bands. “You’re right. This moment is what matters.” Climbing onto the bed, he hooked his arm around my middle. With ease he positioned me under him in that sea of green and gold blankets.

Gazing upward, my world was nothing but his sharp features and soft mouth. I was overwhelmed by how naturally we clicked. My body resonated toward his like we were lovers reborn a thousand times.

In that state of ecstasy, I nearly said something. Words I’d never imagined would come from me, or be directed at me.

I opened my lips. My tongue started to curl into that sacred shape. At the last second, instead of speaking, I kissed him. Something inside me warned me that it wasn’t time.

I couldn’t tell him I loved him.

Not yet.

- CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO -

HAWTHORNE

Costello gripped my hand solidly. “I wish we could stay longer.”

Everyone had left Torino soon after the wedding. Kain and Sammy had been first—something to do with the baby, no doubt. Francesca had left late last night, her luggage having expanded twice over after a few shopping trips in the city. Apparently Mom had left her in charge of the estate while she was gone. She seemed pretty pleased with that, but I expected all the German shepherds I’d suggested would eat Mic would be rehomed in a few days.

Only my older brother and his girlfriend remained. Scotch was already in the car waiting to take them to the airport. Before jumping inside she’d given me a tight hug, then a sharp knuckle-punch to the shoulder. I was sure it was meant to be endearing. Probably.

“Please,” I chuckled, squeezing Costello’s hand back. “You know you’re already sick of this place.” The papers were running multiple stories. Some loved the royal wedding. Others were focused on picking apart me, my father, and our “mysterious” family.

Someone had leaked info about our criminal history back in Rhode Island. The servants had tried to hide the morning papers, but my mother had demanded a copy with her breakfast.

Costello, who’d been sitting across from me when the paper had been returned, had tensed up. “Fredricson Family History Full of Blood,” the front page had claimed. There were photos of us all inside—that was when Dad had snatched it, crumpled it up, and thrown it away.

I’d laughed it off ... but Costello, who was dating a police officer working her way through the academy, was unable to take it lightly. I was sure he was wondering if the paparazzi here could harm her reputation before she even began on the force.

He was still clasping my hand, fingers curled over my wrist. I tugged—he released me with a long sigh. “Thorne, you must realize this situation hasn’t become less dangerous just because there’s a ring on your finger.”

“Are we making marriage jokes now? Because I’ve got a few thousand. Didn’t seem the right time to use them, but ...”

“Listen to me.” He eyeballed the castle windows. “The Valentines will never feel secure with us around. The marriage benefits them, not us. All we’ve done is agreed to keep ourselves in arm’s reach of their blades.”

“Well, I use a gun. And guns beat swords, or so I’ve heard.” He dropped his serious eyes to my face. Before he could say anything else, I lowered my voice. “Chill. Does everyone think I’m oblivious? Iknowthe Valentines aren’t our friends. And I know they’d slice my throat if they could get away with it. But I also know what they want more than this marriage, and it’s something they can’t get if I don’t give it to them. Something I don’tplanto give to them.”

My brother’s eyebrows hitched higher. “What’s that?”

Nova’s face flashed through my mind. “A baby. Guess Dad didn’t tell you about that.”