Page 38 of Claiming What's Mine

“He's gone, Jay, he died last night.”

The corner of my lip twitched as if it was stuck between wanting to smile and wanting to frown. The mix of emotions was hard to explain. The hate in my heart for that man was far greater than any love I had, but there was a small sliver, the most minute piece of my heart that still held enough life to feel a brief flicker of sadness.

It didn't make sense and I wasn't sure what to do with the weird feelings, but it was possible to love and hate someone. There wasn't a way to fix it, there wasn't a way to make it better, it was something that just was.

“How?”

My sister went silent again, so I waited for her to answer at her own pace. In my gut I felt like it was a car accident or maybe his liver finally quit. There was only so much liquor a body could tolerate before it finally broke down.

“Asphyxiation.”

“Asphyxi-what?”

“He drowned on his own vomit, Jay.” Beth let out another breath of air, causing the speaker to crackle. It was hard for me to tell if she was crying or if that was an involuntary noise from the phone.

“You alright?” I asked.

“I think so, it's weird, but I'm alright.”

“Good.” Nodding to myself, I leaned back against the wall and looked up at the open sky where the roof should be. “That's good.”

That was all I had to console her with.

“Are you alright?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

“Why wouldn't I be? Dad was a prick, he died being prick, he'll always be remembered as a prick.”

“Jay, don't be like that.”

“Like what?”

“Don't be a jerk. The man is dead, our dad is dead.”

“Our dad died long before the man we grew up with. That man was a drunken shell of the guy he used to be.”

“He was still our dad, doesn't matter how he chose to live his life.”

“It kinda does, Beth, especially when he picked booze over us.”

“I didn't call to argue with you, I just thought you should know.”

“Well, you let me know, so your job is done. I need to get back to work, I'll call you later this week.”

“Wait,” she said quickly, her voice slightly panicked. “You are going to come to the funeral, right?”

“There's actually going to be a funeral for him?”

“Why wouldn't there be?” she asked.

“Because no one is going to show up. Everyone hated him, even his own brother.”

“He was our father, Jay.”

“He supplied the sperm that gave us life, that was it, that was all he did for us. It doesn't make him a father.”

“Can you not be an ass for once?”

“I just don't see the point, I'm sorry.”

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