How did he know what I was thinking?
“Now say it out loud, be angry, be upset, tell me what you really feel.” His eyes were sharp and piercing, focusing hard on my face.
I felt compelled to speak up, to expel this anger that had spread over my body like the plague. He was giving me a voice, and I needed to use it.
Veering my stare, thick lines creased my forehead as the words finally found their way to my lips. “You took my daughter from me, you stole ten years of our life together. I missed everything; her first word, her first steps, her first day of school, the first time she fell and cried and needed to be comforted. I missed out on all of that.”
“I know, and I'm sorry for that. I was wrong for keeping you two apart. I was wrong for not giving you a chance to be a man, and take care of your responsibilities. I did what I thought was right for my daughter, and I'm sorry I took the chance away from you to do what was right for yours. You love Blue, and so do I, that love might be different, but we both want what's best for her.”
Clearing his throat, he attempted to reach the handle above his bed, but he missed. “Can you—” Nodding his head at the bar, he lifted his hand back up.
Standing up, I grabbed the bar and held it still for him to get a good grip. Greg wrapped his hand around it, trying to pull himself higher. Struggling, he couldn't move any further.
“Here, let me help,” I said, curling my hands under his armpits, and lifting him gently against his pillows. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you.” Fixing his blanket, he flattened the creases as he spoke. “Do me a favor, don't tell my wife you just did that. I've been trying not to let her see how much worse this has gotten. She worries enough about me.”
Braiding my fingers together, I dropped my chin into my chest. “You know I came here thinking this was going to be a lot of yelling, a lot of cussing and fighting between us. I didn't expect an apology.”
“Well, I only have so much time to apologize, ALS won't wait for me to fix the stuff I did wrong. And I did wrong by you and my daughter—and my granddaughter.You guys deserve the chance to be a family.”
“I want to be a family, I'd love the chance to give Bliss something neither of us have ever really had; a father to be proud of, one that actually wants to be there.”
“Jayden, I knew your father, I knew the man he was. You're nothing like him, I can see that now. Back then, it was hard to see anything when it came to my daughter. It's not something I can explain, and it's not your fault. I was wrong see you as your father, to let who he was cloud my decision on who you were. I'm truly sorry for that. But I can tell you that you'll do anything to keep your child safe, even if that means forcing out a boy she says she loves.”
“I just don't understand why it took this long for me to find out?”
“I told her when she was an adult, she could do what she wanted to. She swore you'd come back for her when she was eighteen. I watched my daughter's heart break in half when you didn't, and I'll be honest with you, a piece of me was hoping you would you show up. I thought it would prove something to me about your character.”
“My character?”
“Like I said, I knew your father.” His eyes opened wider as he looked like he felt even more sorry for comparing me to the man I never wanted to be like. “You not showing up made it easy for me to convince her that you didn't care enough about her.”
“But I did care, I cared so much I stayed away from her because I knew I had nothing to offer her.”
“Jayden, we all have something to offer those we love, even if we can't see it.”
Dropping my head into my hands, I squeezed my temples. “This is scaring the shit out of me, I have a daughter.” Snapping my eyes back to his, my pupils flashed with fear.
Fear of being a dad.
Fear of her not liking me.
Fear of not being the father she expected.
Fear of not being good enough.
“Does Bliss know yet?” he asked, his mouth folding into a grimace as he tried to move again.
“Need me—”
“No, thank you though.” Relaxing his body, he gave me a half smile.
Shaking my head, I frowned. “Not yet.”
“But she met you.”
“Yeah, I met her twice. She's a great kid, I could see that.”