Chapter 2
Special Words
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HE LET ME ENTER FIRST. I had to duck under his arm as he held open the door, the keycard tucked in the fingers of his other hand. Passing beneath his thick bicep was like traveling under the limb of a massive tree in a forest. Our eyes met as I glanced upwards. His lips were set in the same subtle smile he'd worn since leaving the bar.
I knew he'd be big, but knowing and living it were very different. I'd always been short, but he made me feel fragile. Like he could break me if he sneezed. Still, I was strangely certain that he'd never lay a hand on me. Not unless you ask him to, I reminded myself with an excited shiver.
The door swung shut, the noise making my heart race. “Nice room,” I said, eager to make conversation... to make this feel normal.
He set the keycard on the table. “I guess. I've been in nicer.”
“You book a lot of hotels?”
His shrug made the delicious vein in his neck flex. “Here and there. Work stuff.”
“Me, too. I mean, I only really book hotels for work.”
Conner smiled mildly as he sat in the chair by the door. “Do you want to chat about work?”
“No. Not at all.”
“Then make yourself comfortable.” He pointed at the bed, so I sat on the edge of it. “Tell me, Cherry, what exactly you're looking for.”
My heart beat even faster. “We talked about it online.”
“Yeah. But I'd like to talk about it now.”
“Why?”
“To make sure you're serious.”
“Maybe you just want me to say it out loud.”
“If you're implying I'm a pervert, I definitely am,” he whispered thickly.
Flushing, I rocked my hips on the bed, trying to disguise my excitement as me settling in. “Fine. I'm looking for someone to indulge my fantasies. Someone who will play along, no matter how filthy the scene I want to do is, and not back off, or end it, unless I give a sign.”
“A safe word.”
Nodding, I crossed my legs. Conner's attention jumped to my bare knees. He hadn't tried to hide his attraction to me at any point. His open desire was making me want him more. “There are a lot of things I want to try.” I hadn't held back when filling out my kinks and sexual preferences on the app. According to the terms of service it was all behind the scenes data that was supposed to help match me with someone who had similar tastes. I kept reminding myself of that to give myself courage that Conner wasn't going to reject me.
“I don't know where to begin,” I admitted.
“Start with what you don't want.”
“Nothing gross. Nothing that makes me bleed. I'm not into permanent damage.”
He started to smirk. “Anything else?”
“No... boyfriends,” I said. I saw his forehead wrinkle. “I don't want a serious relationship. I don't think I can date someone who knows my deepest, dirtiest fantasies.”
Conner arched a single eyebrow. “Ah. You're telling me not to fall in love with you.”
Hearing him phrase it that way made me flinch. Stupid, I thought, scolding myself. You sound like an insufferable, egotistical bitch. “Sorry! That came out wrong.”
“No.” Waving a hand, he set both palms on his spread knees. “It's good to be straight forward. I don't want either of us expecting things that aren't on the table.” His smile put me at ease; I sank back onto the mattress. “We can keep this a no strings attached deal. That works.”