Page 63 of Ring Me

Covering my eyes, I grit my teeth. “He asked if I was joking. I didn't know what to say, I guess my silence was my answer. He asked me if that had happened to me... had a cop ever arrested me and done that... I was stunned! I told him of course not, it was just a little fantasy I wanted to act out! We'd had a pretty vanilla sex life. I wanted to indulge my kinkier side.

“He looked so disgusted. He demanded to know what else I was hiding. What I really expected from him.” My face was on fire. I remembered opening my laptop, feeling this combination of pressure to be honest with Ben and a need to explain myself. If I justshowedhim, surely he'd understand and accept me. Together we scrolled through my secret stash of porn... Japanese hentai... fanfiction... every dirty fantasy I had was laid bare.

Gathering myself, I said, “After some more talking, he threw the police outfit on the floor, yelling like a madman. I told myself he was just drunker than I'd thought, that he wasn't understanding what I was asking. Then he called me a whore.”

Aubrey let out a strained groan. “Jesus.”

“He was ranting so loud his voice went raw. He said I was a perverted tramp, that I should be ashamed of what I was asking him. He called me every name in the book. Slut, bimbo, depraved... everyone in the building heard. That was why I moved out so fast.”

“What a bastard! Who kink-shames their girlfriend? If I'd know, I would have kicked his ass. I definitely wouldn't have let him keep being friends with everyone!” She focused on me with fresh confusion. “Why didn't you think you could tell me about this?”

“It was too embarrassing. He made me hate myself, Aubrey. I wanted to crawl into the ground and die. I thought he was right, that I was disgusting. Undeserving of love.”

Her palm slapped the bar top so hard it sounded like a whip-crack. I jumped—the bartender looked over at us warily. “You're nothing like that!”

“It's how I felt.”

“All this time, I was polite to Ben because you both acted like the breakup was mutual.”

“It was, in a way.”

“You should have said something, Maya. I can't believe you made yourself act normal around him whenever he showed up to things people invited him to. If we'd known, if I'd known, I would have cut him out for your sake.” Her voice wavered. “I let you crash on my couch, fed you ice cream, and thought I was doing enough, but you were still beating yourself up inside. Fuck, I was so oblivious. I didn't protect you at all.”

“Whoa, hey, it's okay!” Grabbing her shoulder, I gave her a little push and pull. “Please don't beat yourself up. I handled everything in my own way. You know how I am, acting tough, keeping things civil. I feel relieved that I told you and you're not running away from me, screaming.”

“Maya, is that why Conner and you...”

“No,” I said quickly. “Our breakup had nothing to do withthat.”

“Okay, then why?”

Was my beer empty already? I pushed the bottle side to side between my hands on the bar. “I found out that he wasn't who I thought he was. How much do you know about the RingMe app?”

“Wired had a huge article about it last month, lots of women singing its blessings. I actually debated signing up.”

“Here's the thing. Conner invented the app.”

“Um, he what now?”

“Exactly,” I sighed. “That's the career he refused to tell me about. He's a programmer, and a really good one, apparently.”

“Why didn't he tell you about that? You'd think he'd brag a bit.”

My poor bottom lip was getting chewed to hell. “It's not just that he made it. If it was only that, I'd be a little mad he hid it from me, but we'd still be together. This is a little hard to explain.”

“Try me.”

“When you sign up for RingMe, you fill in a bunch of data about yourself. Private stuff that the app uses to match you with people who are supposed to be perfect for you. But Conner went around his own coding and forced our profiles to connect. And,” I went on, my anger bubbling up as I relived the night in his apartment, “I'm pretty sure he went through all the personal things I put in my profile. All my preferences, beliefs, likes, dislikes... he had to have seen it all. He wasn't perfect for me, he was tailoring our interactions from the beginning. Nothing was real.”

“That's super creepy,” she agreed, crossing her arms. “He orchestrated your relationship like he had a field guide.”

I was nodding along, but my rage had already faded. I wanted so badly to be angry at Conner. Anger was better than regret.

“This is a heavy mood. Here, this should cheer you up.” She dipped her hand into her purse, holding out a blue and white cardboard CD case to me. “For you.”

“Oh my god, is that... Aubrey!” I took the signed Cynthia CD, flipping it back and forth in amazement. “Thank you so much!

“You mentioned liking her music, thought you'd appreciate that. She's nice, by the way. Down to Earth.”

That made me smile. “Glad to hear it. Seriously, thank you.”

My best friend swung one leg over the other, her foot moving like a dog's wagging tail. Something was still bugging her. I waited, knowing she'd blurt it out when she couldn't bottle it up any longer. “So...” she said, “if you and him are over, what are you going to do about the fake marriage? Your mom was relying on it.”

“That doesn't matter anymore. Turns out her and my aunt were wrong about the inheritance. Pappy was never going to take anything away, he's had the same will since the start. I don't need to marry anyone, fake or otherwise.”

“That's great!” Aubrey lifted her bottle to tap it on mine. “Cheers to dumping a jerk and insuring your mom's future without committing fraud to do it. Everything worked out.”

My smile was fragile as a bird's egg. “Yeah. Everything worked out.”

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