Page 16 of Impacted by Love

"I love you too, Mom," I say while ignoring the tightness in my chest, which does not come from the situation with my parents.

God, how much longer will I have to shoulder this weight? I'm not sure if I made the right decision a minute ago.

"Something about the name,Jesus. Ohhh. Ohhh. Something about the name Jesus," I sing while walking along the path at the park.

One of the things I enjoy doing outside of reading is meditating, but from a place where I can also witness the beauty of nature. Walking through the clearing that will lead me deeper into the path, ideal for kidnappers or wildlife, I sigh yet keep moving. My spirit has been unsettled all day, and I can't seem to shake the heaviness within me, so in an attempt to shift my mood, I came to the park. Between the sun shining, the birds chirping, and the kids playing on the equipment not far from me, I'm feeling a bit better.

"Alright, God, peace from these foreign feelings is in your name. What's wrong with me?" I whisper, momentarily blocking out Rance Allen's voice in my ears.

When my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up.

The scripture sounding in my mind almost causes me to trip over the crack in the concrete I'm walking on. My brows hike, and my nose wrinkles from the weirdness of it because I don't have any issues with Mom or Dad. In fact, without them, I wouldn't know where I would be because their love has always been overflowing and?—

Sometimes, it's not because of you.

"Huh? Why would that scripture come into play if it's not pertaining to me?" I say aloud.

We, who are strong, ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, not to please ourselves.

"Who’s weak?"

Asaiah.

A shiver goes down my back at the name echoing in my mind because I realize my mood has been off since seeing Asaiah embracing a petite older woman with his eyes closed the other day. Something about how he held onto the woman made my heart stammer in my chest. Not wanting to invade his privacy, I ignored the urge to go over and check on him to see if he was alright.

Being created in my image and likeness requires you to stand in the gap for those who need support and help to carry the burdens when they are too weak to do so. Sometimes, nurturing simply provides encouragement or protection when life causes them to be tossed to and fro.

The words spilling into my mind cause tears to fall and my breath to hitch from the intense and overwhelming sense of unexplainable pain that hits me out of nowhere. When the introduction for the next song starts playing, the urge to weep uncontrollably increases the flow of tears.

?

We exalt Thee, we exalt Thee, we exalt Thee, O Lord.

?

While gifted, this artist is also broken. Many haven't taken the time to pray for her. Oftentimes, people judge more than they encourage or pray. Yet, in times of distress, obstacles, or when they fall short of My glory, prayer is best. Like Leandria, Asaiah doesn't need your judgment. He needs your intercession.

The statements about Leandria Johnson, whose voice is effectively ministering the lyrics of this classic song, halt my steps. The truth is that I have been casting judgment where Leandria Johnson is concerned after seeing multiple headlines about her issues. Yet, it's hypocritical of me because none of us in this world are perfect, and instead of judging her, I definitely should be praying. While my faults haven't been broadcast for the world to see, I'm not faultless or blameless in committing sin.

All have sinned and come short of My glory. Yet, My grace is sufficient.

"Forgive me, oh God," I whisper before wiping my face and resuming my walk.

* * *

God, can you lead and guide my tongue in the event I run into Asaiah again? I heard you and want to provide him with a listening ear. The storm clouds within Asaiah's eyes let me know that he needs a friend if nothing else. Help me be a friend, even if it's all I can be for him.

"Had I known you weren't going to be much company, I would have let my sister come with me," Jarielle says.

I had barely walked in my front door when Jarielle called, asking me to meet her at the mall to shop for her upcoming trip. My mind has been stuck on the information God gave me regarding Asaiah, making it difficult to think about anything else.

"I'm sorry. What about this?" I ask, holding a short midi dress that would complement her slim-thick body perfectly.

"Ooh. I love this and know Brent will enjoy seeing me in it."

Putting my thoughts and feelings on the back burner, I focus on this time with my bestie.

"I know. Make sure you send me pictures pre-dinner because I don't want to see the aftermath of Brent's destruction," I say, winking.

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