Page 18 of Impacted by Love

"I'm starting to think this is divine intervention," I comment, smirking when Asaiah taps the earpiece, letting me know the call has ended.

"Or maybe we've just been in the right place at the right time. How are you doing, Ms. Onesti?" Asaiah's words pour over me like toffee on a warm cake, causing my pearl to dance happily.

"Better since I'm done for the day. How about you?"

"Juggling a lot, if I'm being honest." Those storm clouds within his eyes are more defined, making me throw caution to the wind to put myself out there.

"I've been told I'm a great listener. I know you have to return the call I interrupted, but I can delay my exit if you want to grab a cup of coffee… my treat."

Well, dang, girl. Slow down, speedy.

Silence stretches between us while our eyes communicate a conversation my brain isn't able to comprehend or articulate.

"I'm kind of in a rush, but how about you give me your number, and I call you to set something up?"

Oh my God! Oh my God! Grab your phone. Grab your phone. Asaiah just asked for your number.

My conscience yells, and my heart rate increases while I bite my bottom lip. Unconsciously, I remove my phone from the front pocket of my purse and unlock it before passing it to Asaiah to?—

"Oh shoot. You wanted my number. Sorry," I say, pulling the phone back.

A sly smirk creeps on Asaiah's lips before he removes his phone from his pocket, and his gaze lands on me in expectation.

"Um… 380-219-9405," I recite with my heart pounding wildly in my chest.

"Got it. I gotta run, but I'll be in touch soon. Enjoy the remainder of your day, Ms. Onesti." With that, Asaiah walks away, leaving me to close my eyes, enjoying his lingering cologne's woodsy aroma.

Okay, God, scratch my request from a few days ago. If you bless me with that man, I'll forever be grateful.

I have never hada woman speak to me without uttering a single word, yet I feel like that happened between Onesti and me at the hospital. Standing in her presence while trying to mentally convince myself to walk away without surrendering to the pull I had been feeling was a feat I didn't win. While my heart was closed to the idea, my mind was open and receptive to the kind and soul-stirring pull between us. I'm too old to claim never to have a woman affect me in this way, but the truth is… I haven't.

The one woman I thought could have left me because she got tired of competing with my parents. Danielle Mitchell had given me a false sense of hope by coming and supplying me with a temporary reprieve from the burdens I was carrying. Danielle was a sheep in whore's clothing, literally and figuratively. Okay, maybe calling Danielle a whore isn't nice, but imagine my surprise when I popped up on her one night to find her in bed with another woman.

Being a man with a healthy dose of past hurt, I let Danielle convince me to climb into bed with both of them. The woman was her friend from college, who had been trying me during our entire relationship. That day, I let hormones and the opportunity to explore uncharted waters dictate my actions. I put on two condoms and spent hours taking both women on a ride. It was the worst mistake of my life because, for several months afterward, I allowed Danielle and Tiffany to use me individually and collectively for their benefit. Only the guilt and chastisement coming from God could pull me out of that toxicity.

One of the great things I love about God is his ability to show grace even when it's undeserving. Sex has never been sacred since I have never been given the opportunity to make the choice for myself. Sex, for me, had always been a means to an end. Every woman I've been with has been for the purpose of fulfilling some type of need. Maybe one of these days I'll?—

If you let me heal you, you can be freed from the bondage of it. Every woman you meet doesn't have to serve the needs of your loins. Some connections can serve the needs of your heart, soul, and mind.

The voice of God cuts off my thoughts and causes a shiver to ease down my spine when Onesti's beautiful smiling face flashes in my mind.

"Hm. Should I call her?"

Call that woman, fool. You know you want to, yet you're trying to act like you ain't sitting here with butterflies and a giddy feeling at the thought of her.

A low chuckle escapes my mouth when my conscience puts its unsolicited two cents in my business. However, I pick up my phone, pull up my text app, and send Onesti a message. My nerves are causing my stomach to twist and turn, making it impossible for me to call her.

Me:

Good evening, Ms. Onesti. Uh, this is Asaiah.

Why are you texting like you're thirteen and incapable of having a conversation with the opposite sex? Uh, this is Asaiah… man up!

Biting my lip, I stare at the text thread and my heart rate elevates while my eyes stare intently once the message has been sent. My palms begin sweating, which is uncharacteristic for me, forcing me to close the thread, lock the phone, and place it face-down on the couch.

"Okay. Now, the ball is in her court. Let me get something to drink.”

Pulling open my fridge, I stare blankly at the contents, and my mind starts wandering, which causes me to fall down a rabbit hole I need to bury from my past.

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